Such Sorrow

Not sure how great this is...

 

I feel such sorrow 
For I never know what will happen tomorrow 
This depression is taking over my mind and sucking dry my marrow 
Only through my writing does my blood truly flow 
I don't worry about meter or rhyme scheme 
I just paint my canvas, a different landscape, another scene 
I sometimes feel alienated, as if I'm a different type of being 
The seeds of our friendship were planted this year 
Little did I know it would accelerate and switch gears 
It has blossomed into a beautiful tree 
But my feelings towards you became romantic and continue to grow in intensity 
The seeds were sown and some of the benefits have been reaped 
The tree can't change, it will always be the same tree, flowing through the roots are my blood and the sap is beginning to seep 
I am starting to view this tree as a willow that weeps 
However to you it appears as the beautiful crimson king maple 
I am a stallion locked in his stable 
While you are the black beauty I only get to love from a distance 
Given the chance I would snatch it in an instant 
Because sometimes it's so hard to be just friends 
To hide everything and pretend 
It's your touch I crave 
It's your warmth I yearn for 
I'm the surfer and you're my wave 
Without you I feel incomplete 
Yet you don't hear the ocean's roar 
You reinforce the fabric of my being, you are the pleat 
I cannot express the depth of this feeling 
But my heart is a fire and you are the kindling 
All the words of every language a thousand times over 
And all the old love stories and lore 
Don't define this beautiful, invisible ghost 
Not even close... 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh wow... such fierce passion and yearning.. a little sad to want something so badly that is so far out of reach.. a beautiful friendship that has blossomed into so much more possibly.. as from the sounds this is not quite that consumate relationship as of yet.. just very much desired. So many times in life.. we can come across so many that touch us in so many deep ways.. stay in our hearts and dreams sometimes when it's a huge impact. Love is a funny thing.. and can be felt on many levels for many people.. I hope you find what you are looking for! Thank you so much for sharing.. my words can not say enough how powerful I found the feeling that came through this.. very touching!

[Sarah]

sad :(

[Sagela]

Does this girl even know that you like her this much? If I were her I would snatch you in an instant if I read any of these poems of her. Good job on this one. I really liked it. I'm sorry it hurts you so much to watch her from a distance, but everything will turn out for the better soon. Just wait and see.

[Ama May Cooper]

This is absoulutly tremendos a heart shearching endlessly to be linked with another but so distant from the target. Almost a painful fear of loosing a connection that isnt what it should be. Its wonderful you are a very strong writer i really really did love this.

[shandi]

This was absolutely beautiful! Completely gave me goosebumps! I loved your symbolism in this piece the most. Very visual, very good.

[deeps]

This is such a wonderful write, reaching into inner depths of one self.
I like this it's full of emotion, I can feel this from your heart and soul.
Very well expressed write!

[Jeff Miller]

My teacher told me I needed to change this line:

"Little did I know it would accelerate and switch gears"

Because it sounds mechanical compared to the rest of the poem that talks about trees and other things in nature. What do you guys think?

[Sarah]

i really need to stop reviewing your stuff more than once

[Mistaken]

AWWWWWW its so sweet. I loved it...it shows how one changes in heart and mind....also shows teh changing between two friends

[Skyman]

Oh I'm telling Sarah!!!!!!!

[Tina Kline]

This packs a lot of emotion of yearning, wanting, needing and not being able to have the object that is so desired. A lot of imagery in here that helps get all that emotion across.

I enjoyed this poem alot.