Sonnet 2 (Shakespearean Style)

My second sonnet trying to follow Shakespeare's classical style of sonnet, with the same verbage as well.

Thou art the queen of my beating heart

Thou reigns over my very own pure emotions

Alas, Thou plucked my heart’s strings from the start

The Fates hath set ev’rything in motion;

Thou hath leashed mine own soul from first glimpse

Thou art fair, when I look I am struck still

My fairest queen, let me be thine own’s prince

Listen to thee’s heart, follow thine own’s will

But, alas, a heart’s will shall never bend

Hark! I know thou art my own destiny

Forever; true love stories never end

We shall be known for an eternity

   “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

    So long lives this and this gives life to thee.”

Author's Note

The couplet in lines 13 and 14 are direct quotes from Shakespeare.

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

Listen to thine heart would be correct
Thine own price
Thou reigneth
I offer these suggestions to be helpful. May I reccomend Miller williams patterns of poetry as an excellent source book which describes the various forms and meters available to serious poets Ivor AKA poeticpiers

[Lorraine]

Truly you've captured the classic appeal. However, I think your words sound a bit cluttered and rougher as compared to Shakespeare's own writing, and even so, I applaud thee for this. It goes beyond my expectations and so much better than I could ever do. The tone, the language and style have subtle elegance in them. Great Poem.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Joanna Maharis]

Wow! This is really beautiful. I love the Shakespearean theme. Not only that, but this piece is so deeply passionate.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Anyone who tackles Shakespeare deserves a kudos.. especially if they can overall pull off the feel and flow of that time period. The feeling within it displays a forever love.. and though the wording may not stay true to Shakespearean.. it's feel does.. that counts very much.. great job!

[Sarah]

haha i forgot i reviewed this earlier

[Sarah]

why does the forever have an r on it :"( this is pretty amazing :) I think my favorite part would be
"My fairest queen, let me be thine own’s prince
Listen to thee’s heart, follow thine own’s will
But, alas, a heart’s will shall never bend"

ahh its amazing, I'm so jealous that you can write like this and I can't lol but I love you anyway :)

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great poem. I am not sure I could write one like this so I give you kudos for making the effort.

[Tina Kline]

Another really nice Shakespearean Style sonnet. It sure reminds me of reading Shakespeare. Fantastic job.

[Dusty]

Nice! Very nice! You did the Shakespeare quotes credit. The detail and language were refreshing as well. Great job!

[Tate Morgan]

I hope I can do justice as you do