A Passing Train

Free write

Everyday the train passed by and everyday I’d wonder where it was headed.  I’d watch all of the connecting cars with stacked red, blue, maybe yellow crates full of things to take across country, the sound of its rusted wheels colliding with the track. Sparks, I’m sure flew somewhere, the air pressure from the engine sounding as it finally gave up bursting steam from its cylinders and then it would leave, and I’d watch the light from the locomotive as it drifted further into the distance and the only thing that kept me from feeling let down or short changed is that I knew, eventually, it would come again, but it is not this way with love. With love the ones you have to let go of, the ones who’ve stamped your heart, it’s different. It’s different because you have to let go not knowing where they’re headed or if and when they are ever coming back. 

Reviews

[Frank James Davis]

What you've offered has definite promise.
The piece is decidedly well-written; it, dramatically and empathetically, portrays the feelings of those being forced to part with loved ones.
Now, if you truly wish to be a writer, you need only write more--and constantly.
I look forward, JM, to reading more of your work.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you. I plan to keep writing! I have no choice! :) I'm sure none of you all do either.

[Steel]

Have never considered a train as a possible metaphor for love, but this is very convincing. The heaviness of a locomotive and the tug and pull of the engine, very effective when considering how when love departs there seems to be little that can stop it, just as it arrive...

Nicely done, unique and compelling write...!

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you for your comment.

[Benny]

You've made a good analogy most can relate to. When train tracks are laid down there is a permanence there that is assured, yet with people, who knows where those tracks will lead and if they will ever come back again.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you for commenting. I appreciate it.

[highthought]

well , there is imaginary. and is one of the basic tools of a writer