Storm

There was one day about a year ago when it was raining, and I tried writing a description of someone (it's somewhat autobiographical; I won't tell how), and this is what I came up with.

She sits in the cool air, fan blowing even cooler air into the room. Fresh air constantly comes in through the torrents of wind; the windows are halfway open, and they will never budge from that position.  She pulls a curtain back and watches the storm unfold before her. Flash of lightning, then thunder… That cycle repeats itself for a few minutes, then rain falls, angrily at first, then frustrating, then evens out to a much calmer drizzle.

It never ceases to amaze her exactly how beautiful, how breathtaking simple acts of nature can be.  While some find darkness in storms, she finds nothing but comfort and release.  She watches the storm, imagining it’s her other self, her more bitter, sinister side, releasing its tension on the world for whatever has angered her, saddened her… tortured her.

She has plenty of reasons to stay bitter forever, with loved ones constantly leaving her through death or betrayal. She has plenty of reasons to stay sinister forever, with constantly being hurt by others, making her hurt herself even more.  Only until recently has she stopped feeling the pain; she no longer has those reasons for self-loathing.

There aren’t any scars on her skin; however there are many scars on her heart, scars that were put there both by herself and others.  Some run deeper than others; then again, each and every one of them was, to her, traumatic.

She used to cry herself to sleep every night, wondering to herself, “Why does it have to be me that is always hurt? Why me?”

And until now, everything stayed the same.

Now, everything’s changed.  One day, she just woke up and decided not to hurt herself anymore, to start a new life. She may still be fearful of what will happen, if she will get hurt again just like in the past. So far, though, everything’s going well.

She knows the outcome will be better than before; after all, she is starting to blossom after her own personal storm.