Not Lost

I'm not lost but I can't be found

I'm losing air to all that now surrounds

I clench my fists and scream... but there is no sound

Life and love have only seemed to confound

My hopes and dreams only act as weights as I drowned

I'm alive but fading

I think I gave up during the hoping and waiting

I got lost in love and commiserating

I once loved myself and now it's infuriating

I found myself only to choose subjugating

I exist but I fail to live

I knew what I wanted, now I struggle with what I can give

I bandaged my heart but these days it leaks like a sieve 

I found my freedom but now pick and choose how to be captive

I've fought for who I am to find I'm now passive

Am I losing me?

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This poem has passion! Emotion! It is structured in a most intriguing manner with solitary lines eliciting the rhymes of the following stanza. The last line, however doesn't seem to fit into what the poem ends up doing. In a way, there is an echo to the first line, but nowhere in the poem is there any hint or mention of being anything akin to mail or something that had been previously sent. So that line simply means nothing and is powerless, even though, the poem calls for something to be there. Perhaps a change in title and final line is in order. OR, simply rework this so that the "please return to sender" has more meaning to the reader (for it may make sense to you, but the reader is most likely lost in the maze that you've created that they can't make head or tail of the last line and how it fits, for you haven't necessarily left enough bread crumbs for us to find).... in my opinion, though, a change in title and last line would be much easier than attempting to make it work (because the imagery is already grand, and the musicality spectacular). Well done!!

[Jessica Gillitzer]

Thanks emi, I will do just what you suggested and possibly rewrite the intended idea with said title. I think you're right it lost it's meaning once written, I tend to not like to go back upon my work much because I try for my truest thoughts or feelings. Thanks for the helpful comments. =o)

[emipoemi]

with pleasure.