White clock

White clock

A Poem by ElizaB

Is this it?
A life of shadow,
Lies and spit.
A clock so slow
It cannot commit.
Longing for rib bones
Instead of flesh.
To hide T-zones
And history; page, refresh.
Words become lost,
And Nobody cares,
Love is the cost,
Of anger and tears.
Ink the walls,
Colour the palms.
Ignore their calls,
Texts and qualms.
Walk in rain,
In snow and sun.
To numb the pain,
Let go, and run.
A spine of sweat,
Of loss,
Regret.
The struggles of a teenager...
How could I forget?


© 2017 ElizaB



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Featured Review

I quite enjoyed the form of this one. The rhyme scheme is very intriguing....how the C lines often give the rhyme with the subsequent A lines, and so on. It really caught me off guard at first and I had to reread it to see what was really happening. Very hectic in narrative, what makes the ending so golden! My only critique is to remove the word "rib", for not only does it mar the musicality a tad, there's nothing that justifies its presence (the powerful "flesh" of the following line is much stronger when paired with just "bones") Well freaking done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Being a teenager should come with a health warning.
But you eventually get over the boulders of life.
In theory it should make you an expert on everything.
Sadly, the boulders just get smaller.

Posted 3 Days Ago


I quite enjoyed the form of this one. The rhyme scheme is very intriguing....how the C lines often give the rhyme with the subsequent A lines, and so on. It really caught me off guard at first and I had to reread it to see what was really happening. Very hectic in narrative, what makes the ending so golden! My only critique is to remove the word "rib", for not only does it mar the musicality a tad, there's nothing that justifies its presence (the powerful "flesh" of the following line is much stronger when paired with just "bones") Well freaking done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 16, 2017
Last Updated on September 16, 2017

Author

ElizaB
ElizaB

United Kingdom



Writing
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