My Letter To You...

It's from my diary entries...

Dear, (Or what? ) i don't know what should i call you now. It's not a letter that you hook up to call this is a love letter. Either i don't know what is this! But one thing is sure, this is what i spoke to you. It's is not that i'm a coward. But you given up everything, before i started to spoke those little funky words, through your single little word, "No.", and now, that's what hurting me the most.

I wouldn't ever thought about such a given up between us. Even when my mind always reminds about this...

You know, we've never talked or smiled to have such a strong bond. But every time i watch you only as a stranger, it's clear that you're belonging to me. And you're the one, that i thought who must understand me.

I’m a fool who thought that respect is the best and purest form of love. 'cz two of them can only respect each other when there is deep understanding...

I'm not afraid of you are not loving me back, neither it has no pain. But it's really hard to justify myself that i can love someone else like the way i loving you...

I’m sorry if i ever hurt you or disturbed you...

And sorry, i can never given up, that i love you so much and, i need you more than i deserve...

And that's what i live with every day. I'm in a verge of losing myself, in the battle field of me and my mind. There is nothing that i can lie or help myself. And everybody knows that there is nothing more worst, when a man lies himself. But I'm the holy s**t guy who worsted myself. Not once, but many and many times, lot of excuses and lots of lies myself...

I'm i wrong? I don't know, there is nothing to lead me to anywhere, i can see only a dark room, filled with that stiffened smiles. It's more offensive that, when one thing starts to hurts against me, then, the rest will feel the same, with in the same wall, where i loosing myself like a prisoner, who wish for the forbidden gate to open up for a run out, just an illusion of escape...

And now, the one that i thought who might lead me is now done that, left me all alone, when the whole world ready to be with me,

And 'am sad, when the whole world is ready to smile with me

But you're happy, na...?

That's enough, and i need that smiling face to live with,

Because it is always hurting me, to see you again and again, than to live with your memories, even when we were not together in those memories...

I know i don’t deserve you, and your love, ever... And I’m the incredible fool who sought for that.

But you're such a damn precious, who always screaming inside my head. But for you, who am i?.  A biggest fool man, who irritated you the most (At least in that very second of your life), and i know, i might be the one, that you hate most, in this world. But i don't want to be anything... And i know, that's what i becoming now. (That "anything", okay you got it...)

And of course i promised you, i don't want to disturb you ever... 

And now i caring most, not even in accidentally to came in front of you, even just in your vision. Because it's hurting when, hates me every time, in every possible way that you could be, when i loving you in every possible way that i can be

I'm sorry if i asking the wrong, if i doing the wrong.

This life is built upon lots of lies, mistakes, and misunderstandings, and sorry if i ever hurt you.

When, pleasure, happiness, grief pains, and every pain felt like das the same feeling. It's just that, that heart is incapable of being go with the feelings, and it is okay, but do you see, how deeply it has died inside ???

In this creepy night, do you think that i walking outside, 'cz of not falling asleep, and, besides, do you think that, i might wishing for some warm outside ? ? ?  

But it's true i love the night and it's cold, it is just like me, but the day, it is perfectly you.

And it is clear to me, than anyone knows, that there is no single moment that you might thinking of me....

Sorry for everything......

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

the ideas within this are beautiful and interesting. if you were to edit or work on flow, this would be an astounding peice

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

There are errors throughout this mostly at the beggining that make it very difficult for me to understand. However if you were to fix up the errors this would read and flow really well. it would be an easy read despite the dark tones of this letter. this is good but needs fixing up.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very powerful letter. A letter don't need perfection. I miss the days of letters. People had different style of writing and thoughts. I like the way you expressed the desire of this poem. Thank you for the very good story in this letter.
Coyote

[Mehul Rwat]

Very nicely written out. I agree with the other review here. 'I' should always be in capital letters or else it is a bit distracting you know, I can't help noticing grammatical errors. But you have written excellently otherwise. Keep writing. You have done a good job and can do even better.

[EMF]

Scary. Dark and disturbing. Very good story. But one criticism. When you're refering to yourself as in 'I' it really needs to be a capital letter. Just grates a little. Cracking work though.

[RedInk524]

Wow. I really like this. Its dark, sad, and something i can easily relate to.