My Vague November

The inaudible breezes

push along my memory,

pushing me into what

can only be perceived

as searching idly.

Sifting through this scenery

pulls particular panes of me,

pulling me into what

can only be conceived

by drifting leisurely.

God knows that I've missed

this recent past November

in which I -

I can no longer remember.

Still I sift through 

my shifting scenes

eagerly anticipating

a peculiar familiarity.

For spite or fate

I cannot wait

until I'm back

to where I was

this time

That year.

Author's Note

This is an older poem but quickly revamped it before submitting. As always, any feedback is welcome (save for the vulgar ones of course).

Oh, I tend to hold these older ones with a nostalgic esteem so I always have trouble editing or expanding them. So, what I am say is, I welcome any criticisms because I never want to change anything when I am editing them on my own. It'd help me look at them with a sober, objective mind.

Reviews

[Relic]

The combination of alliteration and rhyme really help this run smooth. You chose your words successfully as far I'm concerned. I usually don't suggest anything unless I see something that hits me as rough or wrong. I see none of that here.

A great poem to read. :)

[Kibbles and Quips]

I just saw this review! Sorry I did not comment sooner, Relic!

But thank you so much! This is one of those poems I keep coming back to because I love what it could be, but isn't quite there. Somewhat fitting, I guess. But, so far, many people have loved this piece as is for some time (here and other places), maybe it is time for me to stop fiddling around with it and accept it for what it is.

Anywho, thanks, again! and, again, sorry for the delay.

[grimfukle]

This is a very, very good work, in my opinion bordering almost on brilliance at some points
"peculiar familiarity", I love that.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Hello, again! Thanks for reading this as well! This is one that I come back to every now and then; there's something about it I feel like I should fix, or just isn't right, but that kinda feels pertinent or fitting to the message. I am happy you enjoyed this one as well!

[V]

Thoughtful and softly, smoothly reading piece. The flow is great, it really eases one into the depths of your thinking. I wouldn't change anything either. Very nice.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thank you very much. This is an older one but I do like this poem, but more so its potential, not necessarily my execution. I think there are parts in which I can clean up or expand upon, but whatever. In any case, thank you for reading and for your compliments as well.

[V]

You're welcome. I think as an author you consistently think alike... Potential is good word to describe it..

[AquaWater5674]

Pulls particular panes of me...I really appreciate the prose...like drifting...into a soft thought process..
I agree with Mr Lopez...
Reminds me of a story by Camus..."The Stranger"..
Very Well Done!

[Kibbles and Quips]

I just read the first couple paragraphs from a PDF I found. So far, I really enjoy it. I'll try and finish it sometime. Thanks for relating that to me. But, from what I have read, I can see a similarity there, especially the opening line, "MOTHER died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure." That sense or of detachment via grief, or, mayhaps, displacement, confusion.

Again, thank you for readying and commenting!

[Mr. Lopez]

My friend, this was haunting and smooth.there is something here that I just can't put my finger on. I m not sure if it's your writing style , your delivery, the structure or your strategically placed rhyming or perhaps the lovely balance and combination of them all but I found this to be flawless...inspiring even. You set an example of what is possible in writing.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Wow, that is quite the series of compliments! Thank you very much! I still believe there is much to be improved upon for this specific piece. I find that the segues between stanzas are a little too abrupt and some parts don't flow as well as they could and should. Regardless, thank you, again, for your words, and thank you, again, for taking time out of your day to read my works. I am quite happy you enjoyed it!

[Manu]

The title very well suits the poem.
I liked these lines:
Sifting through this scenery
pulls particular panes of me,
pulling me into what
can only be conceived
by drifting leisurely.
We all have those days when we look back into our past. Memories sometimes tend to become vague.
A nice write. And November is approaching !
I also liked these last two verses....
For spite or fate
I cannot wait
until I'm back
to where I was

this time
That year.

These sums up this poem beautifully !! Keep writing.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I do really like those last lines as well so I am quite happy you enjoyed them, too! This is one piece I hope to come back and completely revamp and be content with because I see so much potential with it but I am (as of right now) too attached to make drastic changes haha. Thanks for reading!