Unsent

i hope maybe i haven't really lost my mind;

    that paper isn't always buoyant

    and ink is highly soluble.

i guess brain power truly is relative ...

 

these are probably journal thoughts

but my journal is overcrowded with politeness

as if the only person i really can't show my feelings to

     is.me.

so i'm dropping this anvil in an envelope and sending it your way.

 

i'm at some sort of point, i think

(turning or breaking, im not sure which)

 

so ~

if you could …

please produce yourself here this second …

come in a whiff of heady spice or a puff of smoke;

squint your eyes in my direction and tell me a story

for i do so want something good to happen.

 

and if i space my breaths out just right,

i might have enough left in me to last until you arrive

Reviews

[Tobes]

As someone who has always been afraid of the honesty I felt a journal required, and who's written literally thousands of letters, there is a certain poignancy in this for me.
Technically, I was once "corrected" by a well-intentioned older lady about my use of the lower case "I" in the first person. It was just because, at the time, I didn't feel very deserving of my very own capital letters. Those insightful enough realized this extra depth of expression beyond the language, and the experience was all the richer.
And I said that because I wonder if you didn't do something similar here? Or was it just a whim of style?
I'm new here, but I will try to find some newer work of yours.

[J]

Hi Tobes, what a remarkable review, full of honesty and insightful thought. You are spot on about the use of lower case letters . They appear without conscious thought when yes, I feel 'less than' and really don't care. and you are the only one who noticed -- or said something. These days tho, I type w/one hand and using caps takes extra effort. haha

welcome to WC! i'm very happy to meet you and delighted you stopped by. i'm grateful for your perceptive review and thank you. i look forward to reading your work.

[Wolfwind]

And so it came to pass that in the few micro seconds before the Lady went through a spontaneous fractal decomposition, a puff of smoke did occur. Directly before her, just beyond the kitchen table and in between the sofa and chase lounge, a red and white striped jester appeared. He held a book in one hand, a steaming cup of coffee in the other and wore thick rimmed glasses.
This gave the lady quite a shock and she tilted her head and blinked thrice, thinking it was some sort of hallucination in her pre-appocoliptic state of mind.
The jester cleared his throat and struck a pose, with the cup of coffee held low and the book over his head, with one leg stretched out behind him. "Dearest Lady, I am here on behalf of the Global Poetic Jester Loving Society, Sub-section 3. I specialize in Mirth, humor, laughter, gut busting and rolling on the floor. It is my sworn duty to bring you into a state of Fits, in regards to loud and raucous laughter, so that your preeminent molecular explosion will not occur.
The Lady was beginning to shake as she spoke quickly, "Well you better act fast, or else I'm going to blow up!"
The Jester nodded and lowered his book, opening it to page 674 and set it precariously upon the steaming cup of coffee. He cleared his throat again. "And now I shall begin."
"Hickory, Dickory and a Lickory upon an Unsuspecting Doc. Three Mad Mice made of Rice, Beans and having been re-fried, ran up the Doc's Frock. When the Doc did squeal, the Mice did a'peal a banana upon the floor beneath the Doc's feet, so that subsequently and absolutely the Doc slipped, falling into a bowl of freshly mashed wheat."
The Jester let one eye raise up to meet the look upon the Lady's eyes and gave her and upside-down wink.
The Lady immediately fell to the ground laughing so hard that it used up all the spontaneously combustible energy, thus saving her from oblivion.

(See! Something Good always happens! =)

You craft such inspiring poetry! It's always enjoyable to read!

Aaron

[*** Hey Jude***]

Amazing poetry from an amazing woman. Your words speak volumes that I can very much relate to at times in my life.
"as if the only person i really can't show my feelings to
is.me.
so i'm dropping this anvil in an envelope and sending it your way."
Love this ha,ha, the first time I have ever wanted an anvil to drop right on me, but know that it is because it is You Jill! ~

[Poet's Soul]

This was a lovely poem. It's good to read you again. PS

[SkinlessFrank]

that desperation we feel to break into something, someone truly meaningful...you capture it for me

[.]

Great job:)

[Jaclyn]

I absolutely love the last two lines. LOVE.

[Abhra]

Oh my dear friend! This is such a beautiful poem. The poem turns like a river. I loved your tone. every word resonates in my heart. And it bleeds little by little. There are so many wonderful lines.. but my two most favorites are
"i'm at some sort of point, i think
(turning or breaking, im not sure which)"

and the closing of the poem. You are in some form my lady. Sublime!

[astronaut]

You have a unique tone when you write and I admire that. You are a great writer with a lot of potential. I will definitely read more of your work. Great job and keep writing! :)

[Debbie_Philly]

This is wonderfully written and I love the lines

these are probably journal thoughts
but my journal is overcrowded with politeness
as if the only person i really can't show my feelings to
is.me.
Im feeling you there... really great write !!

[ba_mcfarlane]

There is exquisite phrasing in this piece: "dropping this anvil in an envelope"; "come in a whiff of heady spice"; "overcrowded with politeness". I enjoyed this a lot. Bravo!