Final Seconds

Final Seconds

A Story by Johnny Westbrook


































By: Johnny Westbrook

            He lies on the ground, looking up at the starlit sky; thinking of what he just did. Hearing the grass brush together as the wind race between them, he lifted his hand and tried to get a good view at it as his eyesight went out of focus. Beginning to sweat as his body grew cold, he began breathing heavily as his sight continued to blur and dim. Looking to his right as a cloud passed the moon, the moonlight revealed batch of purple flowers swaying from the breeze.

            Closing his eyes, he saw the image of a fist pressed up against a white shirt stained with blood. Watching his vision, he watched as the stain slowly went away and the fist pulled out the knife. The stain was gone, so was the cut where the knife pierced through the shirt. Watching through the eyes of the one in the white shirt, he watched as the person sat up and then stood… in a field of grass and flowers.

            The place seemed familiar to him as he watched through the eyes, but something was different. Something confused him about the place and time. It finally clicked in his head, it was noon, at the same spot he laid now.

            Quickly opening his eyes as he struggled for a gasp of air, he used his left hand to pull up his white bloodstained shirt as the blurriness went away long enough for him to see a piercing hole through it. Feeling something in his right hand, he lifted his hand and saw the same knife from when he closed his eyes.

            As it got harder and harder for him to take a breath, tears ran down his eyes as everything got darker and darker around him. Starting to freeze as his body shivered, he grew more and more tired. Not able to fight it, he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the wind and grass… until it completely stopped.



© 2011 Johnny Westbrook



Author's Note

Johnny Westbrook
Please let me know what you think of this. Thank you.

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Featured Review

oh man ... ! So you tellin' me he took his last breath ... ? Surely there was some kind of heroic fair maiden to come and deliver to him the kiss of life ...

Just kidding ... I like your words they are easy to read and follow a good flow ... Only thing I would suggest is to be careful of using the same word too much ... for example 'he' and also words like 'got' could be became in the last paragraph ... I dunno ... that's just what I think anyway ..

I am teaching myself how to write a novel and am editing it now and these non-descriptive words jump out at me and say ARGHHHHHHHH ...

you have fabulous story writing skills xx


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Johnny Westbrook

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review :) and I agree, I have to watch out with using the same words so much. I am.. read more
KWP

3 Years Ago

beautiful thought my friend ... let me know how you go with your journey... cast away all doubt and .. read more



Reviews

oh man ... ! So you tellin' me he took his last breath ... ? Surely there was some kind of heroic fair maiden to come and deliver to him the kiss of life ...

Just kidding ... I like your words they are easy to read and follow a good flow ... Only thing I would suggest is to be careful of using the same word too much ... for example 'he' and also words like 'got' could be became in the last paragraph ... I dunno ... that's just what I think anyway ..

I am teaching myself how to write a novel and am editing it now and these non-descriptive words jump out at me and say ARGHHHHHHHH ...

you have fabulous story writing skills xx


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Johnny Westbrook

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review :) and I agree, I have to watch out with using the same words so much. I am.. read more
KWP

3 Years Ago

beautiful thought my friend ... let me know how you go with your journey... cast away all doubt and .. read more
i like this story :) first in intro :D Great write

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good. The last line is very pretty. It leaves a lot open to interpretation, which I quote like. Well done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Like it! Keep up the cool work :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great story.
i like how u explained the scene.
very clear to understand.
i like the end part. I like how u described his passing: "Not able to fight it, he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the wind and grass... until it completely stopped."

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very cool, it was not confusing so I did not get lost as to what was going on. It makes me ask a lot of questions like "who did this to him?" or "where exactly is he?"...but overall...it's a good write ;)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 6, 2011
Last Updated on June 6, 2011

Author

Johnny Westbrook
Johnny Westbrook

IL



About
Hello, first and foremost, thank you for stopping by my page and taking interest in my work. My name is Johnny, also known as Static, (Jay Balor is my Pin name) I have a fur child name Matrix who love.. more..

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