Lion heart

the story of fear

                                                     

                     Tears stream down my cheeks,

                     Helpless I remain , under

                      The monsters grip

                      Betrayed by my own self

                           I fell,

                    Into  the monsters lair.

                   A mere number , I have become,

                   Just another number,

                    In the monsters list of victims

 

                 “Fear me “, he said

                    Shamefully the docile one in me,

                   Gave in , and I,

                  Shrank to  be the non entity that I had become.

                    This mortal flaw of mine,

                             A fatal sin

 

                     The warrior in me, pushed on,

                         A coward  he called me

                       “ Rise, rebel, fight”, he said

                       And with his mighty sword,

                   He broke the shackles that  held me down.

                   And I burned with fire

                 I rose and charged to meet my oppressor

                    “ Fear me” he said, once again

                    Towering over me,

                 And the lionheart within me said to him

                        “  I defy thee”

                    The monster shrank in size but I

                                grew .

                     our roles now reversed

                      I towered over him ,

                   And I said to that puny creature,

                      “ Fear me”.

 

Reviews

[PRASANTA KUMAR BARIK (S..]

Positive and courageous mind always win over the negative.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yeah! Thats the only way to deal with fear. Kill it! Very well penned.

[The Brazilian Poet]

My dear friend Joel: yes! A very beautiful and meaningful poem! Everybody has this monster to face today or tomorrow! But a day, we arise from our fear, maybe because we contacted with our internal light, our internal force, and so starting from this event we pass to control the situation! Psychologically and spiritually correct! Congratulations!

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you sir

[Amaranta]

Excellent use of the classic story scheme: introducing the conflict, rising action, climax, falling action, conclusion. This piece has a lot of feeling and layers but you've managed to condense the atmosphere into a short poem that flows smoothly and is easy to read. Reminds me of Beowulf and similar works that feature a single hero/eventual conquerer, although this poem is less tragic! :) Keep writing. x

[HopingStrong]

Very powerful and inspiring. Ignites a fire inside. "And I said to that puny creature, "Fear me"." I loved it.

[Isabel25]

U have got such wonderful comments throughout..really proud of u. I loved it. our attitude decides how our fears would treat us. ...
great vocabulary, that too at such a young age......and I guess it is autobiographical to an extent...keep this up!

[Joel Armstrong]

thanx chechi

[Avinash]

We all have to fight our fears and conquer them. Your poem shows the way for how to do it. An uplifting write.

[AaronFreitas]

A very good piece Joel... very creative and I enjoyed the structure of the poem. Very entertaining... good job.

[Confuser]

Very interesting Joel...I don't see this as a story of fear but as a story of courage: I see this as a metaphor for life and self enlightenment...I see the monster and the character as one: Maybe the monster is a hedodist that only seeks pleasure, never pain: I must have..missed the last line and I said...fear me: but using the Monster as any sinful thing...Greed....or a lack of Belief in our own abilities to overcome: this could be so many different thing (as you wrote sinful) It's wonderful and it could continue to be part 1 in something even more inspiring. But no doubt>>>Great writing. Thank you!!! Dale

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Brilliant write... its quite inspiring...