The old man walks the long path

Old shifu walks the long winding path between the pagodas....

The Shifu rose early that morn.

He stretched yawned and tugged his goatee. 

 Reaching out with a wizend yet strong aged hand

he gripped his yew wood staff.

Then took measures to reach the Pagoda Pavillon

As he stepped slowly forward 

a student dressed in silvery garments

bowed and the Shifu gestured a silent greeting.

They then walked together the shifu pointing at the sky 

the early morning  which  was  misty the valleys  could be seen

way off in the distance.

As they paced towards the Pavilion Pagodas.

The student left him at the foot of the dew soaked gravel tipped hills

and said a single word quietly "senzie" 

meaning I will see you today in eternity

and tomorrow in a lifetime since the Shifu went regularly wondering.

The students never knowing when he would return

watching frequently the horizon not  in  trepidation but in anticipation.

As they learnt many things when he returned from his distant travels

always taking the long winding path where the tigers roamed

showing no fear and past the bamboo forest in the far eastern district

to see the silent monk-like giant pandas 

slowly chewing the stalks and fresh green shoots 

meditatevly contemplating the mysterious  essence of life

while the shifu would watch them understanding and being

at one with nature.

The strong stealthily sinuous movements of the ever alert

Noble tiger pleased him immensely to the very core

knowing his place and role in nature and the world

He would tell his students things like “to be still the morning grass

swaying in the wind is to attain ones place in all of life's journey

be the morning grass and you will gather the essence of the heavens”

or another of his favourites would be

“there is a time and a place for force yet if it is not a test of focus, determination

and pure will then it is a waste and so it not worth the effort of being done”

so with that memory lingering in the forefront of his mind he reached the end of his

Journey where he climbed onto the precipice and sunk onto the balls of his feet

crossing his legs placing his 

hands on to the stones 

underneath him he moved in

 time with the motion of the wind....

 

 

Author's Note

The style is in line with free flowing spoken poetry so there are no commas only full stops

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

Transported back to China so quickly as soon as you put Shifu in there all kind of images begin to float. The wisdom of the teacher overseeing his apprentices patiently . Loads of silence the development of strength and agility of mind and that overall presence of mind. The writing gave me all that plus the added humour which made it lighter yet not superficial.

A great suprise

Thankyou

[Joe_VILOT_]

glad you noticed the underlaying humour I intended to traverse yet another segment of myself with this work.

[Mia Sparrow]

i like how the shifu imparts wisdom to the younger ones from his experiences of being in nature. when the one student says 'senzie' to him, it felt like a sense of foreboding. like he knew that today was the day the shifu would not return. at the end it made me feel like the shifu had fulfilled his destiny and was ready to move on. the writing has great flow, punctuation was far from my mind because it was a great narrative poem, my choice in 'forms' or lack thereof. excellent job.

[Black Raven]

I am a new member and this is my first comment. I'm glad I started with your post. I was captivated by your poem. I fell you have to ability to draw your readers into the story and make one feel for your character. I hope to read more of your writing.

[Joe_VILOT_]

I also have a website where i have some excerpts of stories and you that out if you want it's
www.spiraltableu.com check it out and tell me what you thought it's a little dark and atmospheric hope it's your style. Im also entering a story competition on this website so check it out also out if you want it's called the dark prince on the kaspian sea" enjoy

[ElyL]

Wow, I actually really like how this is written as it is a mix of both a story and a poem. I can't fault it really and I simply love it. Sorry I couldn't edit it very much but it is really good!

[Joe_VILOT_]

I am able to write in many different themes, styles and genres of writing so I am glad you enjoyed it
cheers joe :)