"Steel's Lost Case"

Patrick Steel has been haunted by a case he never could solve in his years as police chief. What will he do now that he is retired when he gets a letter from an old suspect?

“Steel’s Lost Case”

By John Smith

 

            Patrick Steel poured his shot glass full of Jack Daniels Whiskey and looked up at the clock on the wall. 12:04 the clock read. Patrick looked back down at the shot glass and drank it.

            “Bottoms up!” He said as he drank the shot of whiskey. He looked over at the small TV glaring at Judge Judy on the TV screen. He rolls his eyes and looked up at a picture frame. The picture inside was a black and white picture of a woman and a baby boy. The woman in the picture had black curly hair and was quite thin. It was an old photograph dating around the 1950’s. It was the picture of his ex-wife and son. Life was great back then. He came home everyday from his job on the force to a loving wife and son. That was until the date of the murders.

            It was 1966. Patrick was a young officer on the force just years before being promoted to Chief of Police. The day started off like another. Patrick and his partner Chad were at the local coffee shop when they get called for a disturbance at a local high school. The two quickly ran out of the coffee shop and ran out and jumped inside their patrol car. He still remembers the screams as they drove into the parking lot of the school. Honestly, he didn’t really know what was going on. He really didn’t know how serious the situation was until they got there. They got out of the car only to notice that nobody was around. All they heard were a few screams from inside the school building. There is nothing that scares the s**t out of you like silence.

            They began walking towards the building before the explosion happened. Flames engorged the building as the window shattered and the foundation fell brick by brick. The two men stared at the building in awe and began to tear up. That was the day he began to change. Chad and the rest of the station let it go. Some how they knew he would strike again and they would get him. But Patrick just couldn’t let it go. It drove him to the point of madness. He came home one day only to notice that his wife and kid were gone. They left with no warning and gave no explanation. He never saw the two of them again.

            He growled angrily out of frustration and looked away from the picture. Was he bitter? Hell yes! He hated the fact that they left him. He resented them for that. But that wasn’t really what he was bitter about. It still continued to gnaw at his insides that he never could solve the case. Who did it? And why did they do it? It killed him that he simply didn’t know the answers.

He was forced by the state to retire just six months prior. That’s when he began drinking again. The thought of watching daytime television for the rest of his life was enough to drive him completely insane. All he needed was a good lead. He knew that. That was all he needed. He glanced out the window and saw the mailman drive away. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the front door. He grabbed his bathrobe and slipped it on. He was retired. In his mind he didn’t have anything else to live for so why dress up? He walked out the front door and onto the sidewalk. He walked down the sidewalk to the mailbox and opened it. He reached his hand inside pulling out only a letter.

Patrick Steel

2020 Wilcox Drive

Wilson, Mississippi.

            The letter said with no return address. He closed the mailbox and walked back inside. He reached into the pocket of the robe pulling out a Mercedes car key. He stuck the key in the envelope and ripped it open. He then pulled out a piece of notebook paper with a letter written on it. The strange thing was it had no return address. The letter read:

Dear Patty,

 

I know you remember me! I’m the guy you wasted your life away searching for. I’m the reason you have nothing else to live for. They were wrong when they said that I would commit the crime again and they would catch me then. I think you knew that. I didn’t want to do it again. Believe me, once was enough satisfaction to last a laugh time. And believe me, it was just that. It was completely satisfying. I still remember the screams when I made the phone call to inform them that I was going to blow their f*****g brains out. You should have seen the smile on my face when I saw that building blow up in flames. I was like a kid in a candy store. And just between you and me, the thought of those little kids you let down. The ones you didn’t get there in time to save. The thought of their skin burning and their eyes frying in their f*****g eye sockets is enough to get me off. Who needs a woman right?

 

I know just as well as you know that you’ll never find me. But I will always cherish those memories. The memories of the pain that I caused to the kids and everyone else in that f*****g little building.

 

Take care, and try not to think about me too hard Fatty Patty!

 

Sincerely,

Your favorite suspect.

 

P. S. I know you still have that old assault rifle. Why don’t you grow a pair of balls and use it. Do what needs to be done chief!

 

            Patrick looked over at the gun rack that was hanging on the wall where the assault riffle was on. He walked over to it and took it off on the rack. Patrick reached into the locker on the gun rack pulling out shells. He placed the shells in the rifle and cocked it. Patrick sat down in his Lazy Boy recliner and placed the butt of the rifle on the hard wooden floor. He placed the barrel of the rifle in between his teeth and shut his eyes while pulling the trigger. Blood and brains splattered all over the wall as his remains lay there lifeless.

Copyright 2013 by John Smith

Courtesy of True Crime Press

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Author's Note

This was fun to write! Please leave comments and tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Dante]

The opening needs work, I think it can be edited a bit. The character is a sad man we learn that from the start, we also learn that he's lost his family and has not much to live for because his routine is now just watching the TV. The letter was a bit strong, the ending was brutal but overall I think it was a good plot.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you Dante!

[Kuandio]

You’re writing is good. It’s easy to read, not cluttered and full of needless info. However, for some reason I find that something about the pov of the main character feels slightly detached, not sure why though. It might be because you’re mixing the tenses.
I like the line, “There is nothing that scares the s**t out of you like silence”
You might make the way his family left him feel more real, it’s a little too brief, kind of like the cat just ran out the door and didn’t come back. Maybe add something his wife said days prior to leaving, or his kid, or how they behaved, just a touch at least. But I think it’s interesting how obsessed he is that he doesn’t he even think much about that
The letter is pretty wicked, “Who needs a woman right?” damn, what kind of weirdo jerks off to slaughter?
Of course, the ending is sick, I mean that in a more or less good way.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for reading!

[Michael Stevens]

This is really good, I mean send it to a publisher good; although I hope you have better luck than I have had. Getting your foot in the door is tough, but I think you have a shot!

[Jack Buckner]

Thank really means a lot Michael! Thank you for your kindness!

[Lyn Anderson]

I really liked this story. Very dark and twisted. One suggestion having been chastised many times for apostrophes like hasn't and wasn't when it is not someone speaking, you might want to change that.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you KL! I'll take it into consideration!

[Rosaria_V]

This was truly an interesting read!! Nice job

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you so much!

[Rosaria_V]

very wwelcome

[Leslie Philibert]

You write very well, and I enjoyed this. One small point ; take more time to introduce the characters,
if you very obviously introduce them the reader has it too easy ( I think ), even in a short story. Or
shift the perspective and introduce a character through dialogue..

[Jack Buckner]

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for reading!

[Christoph]

For me the most compelling part of this is actually the suspect, the way he describes once being enough to last a lifetime; he's a sociopath who considers himself sated (but still enjoys taunting and tormenting the officer). That's a really different angle and makes for an extremely interesting character.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for taking the time to read!

[Angel]

Ha! I only know one guy who writes like this!
Brilliant as usual, my friend...under whatever name you choose, you are a very talented young man.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for reading Angel! Who is this "other writer" you speak of?

[Angel]

You're cute.
Have you a mirror??

[Jack Buckner]

I don't know what you mean;)

[Angel]

You'll figure it out...

[sonnie ibadah]

this is so good, like one of those tana french's novels. Great storyline, very intriguing. i really wish you could make it longer, like turn it into a novel or something. Great work!

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you!