Time is Relative

For Clockworks.....Dali Challenge---written from Salvadore's point of view in regards to his wife Gala....

Gala.....

I can stretch the wrinkles of age that mar

Upon my canvas

And expose what beauty lay beneath

Bile builds at the back of my throat when you kiss me

But I harden at the thought of displaying you

Leeching your soul in paint

I seek to resurrect you

My saviour

To present you whole and clean

And in the twilight hour

When the sun can no longer compete with your felicity

I wish to devour you

To mire you in shadows

 My love

Beg and bleed while holding your crucifix

Gladly I watch

Ersatz cuts impale you

My marvellous fraud

We

Shall watch time burn away flesh

Purity will purge sin

And we will decompose

Surrounded

By the terror of my will.

Reviews

[thecoolone52]

i like it, my favorite line was

But I harden at the thought of displaying you
i just thought it was kind of funny maybe im a little immature i guess.... good word choice and i was able to take everything you had to say about the picture....... ive seen it before its a pretty famous picture

[cest la vie]

Abstract? Yes.. Beautiful? Double Yes..

You have written a most wonderful piece that reeks with ache, love, thoughts..
Your pen displays a great talent...

[Charles]

I think you did a pretty good job - for some reason this just feels abstract to me. So, in that you were succesful. From a poetic point of view you have penned some great line (like stretch the winkles of age that mar upon my canvas. This poem has some shape (the pattern of irregular line length) so that fits well with Dali. All in all, a good poem, creative and neat in its progression.

[Joe]

This is a good poem. Good word usage and rhythm.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

can stretch the wrinkles of age that mar
Upon my canvas
And expose what beauty lay beneath

This poem started out with brilliant thoughts. I especially love these lines because an
artist has the ability to make the world see things through their own eyes. Beauty is in
the eye of the beholder, so we can see things as they do..even if they manipulate what
is here in reality. Sometimes the person inside overpowers what we see when we look at
a person we know very well. This poem is abstract, but full of emotional spikes that create
serious thought. Great job here. There will be many interpretations of this poem.

[Ross Saunders]

This was very beautiful, a lot of great language and phrases here. Didn't see any glaring errors or mistakes. Well done.

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

this is an outstanding work of art. and I call it art because it does paint a picture with words llike the lyrics from a song
"If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you?" and so your words paint a thousand pictures .......................great job Dali couldn't have done better

[Samuel Dickens]

And abstract it is, but quite effective. I'm glad I chose to review this one, being somewhat of a figure painter myself, I enjoyed both the words and the beautiful painting.

[Kieran James McGovern]

I saw it especially from beginning... this is very good writing. i read and either want to abandon my pursuits or I am just very humbled... but I will choose the latter. You're an outstanding writer, and your style does not much allow for "mistakes" or many criticisms.

[Emily Burns]

oh, wow . . . mission accomplished in a beautiful way . . .