~*Spring*~

Poem about spring....Duh :)

Burrowing animals come out to play

As beautiful flowers bloom.

The wind whispers in joy of rain

And cold subsides with its heartless ways.

Children spin and laugh and giggle

Cats tease and moths wriggle.

Spring takes its time as trees wake with sleepy shivers.

Water thaws, and leaves grow

Pups roll in the green fields.

Kittens are born, horses are foaled.

People are worn from tiring snow.

The new arrivals bring plenty of smiles, and cheers.

 

But then the weather changes.

Swirling winds and slanting hail.

Tornados form a strong gale.

Pups scatter and cower.

Mothers pull them to shelter.

Tornados rip and pull at sleepy trees and blooming flowers.

Then its over.

 

The clouds dissipate.

The sun shines once more.

And everyone comes out to play, and forgets that horrible storm.

Reviews

[Letemdangle]

I like how it lays on the page. It has nice movement and timing. I would suggest not reusing words if possible. For example you have "tornadoes" twice in one stanza. Try "Clashing skies form a strong gale". Perhaps change up the animals to give more variety. For example, instead of mentioning pups twice, in your what should be the third stanza try, "Chicks scatter and cower. Mothers beak pulls them to shelter."

[Bryan Micheni]

good poem. really liked the start

[al25]

I love the change in emotion throughout the poem. Really liked reading this.

[Periac]

painted perfectly if i say so

[terisa green]

well done

[Audrey Howitt]

What a great job you have done with this poem! My favorite line: as trees wake with sleepy shivers. The only line I didn't love--was the last one--not sure why

[Miss Anna]

I love this! I love spring, and it's so cool that all of this is happening, I can so relate to your feelings here. Good job :)

[Jonathan]

I don't know why but I felt really good reading this
Maybe the way you described spring and how it makes everything better
That and I also thought about that gentle cool breeze passing by
As you sleep

[JulieNorell]

JEEZ PEOPLE! Give the spelling a fricken rest!!!! I KNOW I have a few grammar problems! I didn't send you a read request so that you could correct my spelling and grammar thank you to those who didn't!

[emona]

that was beautiful