The Girl Who Tried to Outrun Ugly (I)

The Girl Who Tried to Outrun Ugly (I)

A Story by Junert

An immoral fairytale?

Once upon a time, long ago, there was a beautiful maiden. In all of the lands, there was not a woman who lived, more beautiful. So benevolent was this woman, that her kindness stretch­ed to the four corners of the world. Kings, and Queens came to her, to show their gratitude for her simply being alive.
The maiden was called Divinity Mundane­, and for all of the beauty that she possessed, she was a woman of common wealth, common possessions, and common wisdom. Like all women of such wealth, possession, and wisdom, she enjoyed simple pleasures. She was often bored at Palatial functions, and she found neither romance, nor delight inroyalty.
One night, a lonely night while leaving the market square from a day of window shopping, Divinity decided to visit the singles tavern for acocktail. One cocktail turned to three, and then five. Soon she was drinking ale, and singing drinking songs with the locals.
She sang the night away, until the coldest hour passed, and most of the tavern patrons were passed out, or home. Seeing she was too drunk to walk on her own, a man who introduced himself as Fleece Swindle, offered to walk her home.
"I am a respectable lady!" Divinity Mundane cried, pushing Fleece Swindle away flirtatiously.
"Certainly, you are." Fleece Swindle smiled his most charming smiled. "Surely my lady needs aid. A lady of such respectable nature, and incredible beauty would not be safe stumbling so elegantly her way home."
"Very well," Divinity Mundane slurred. "I will let you walk me home."
Divinity Mundane and Fleece Swindle sauntered drunken through the main roads, stumbling to, and fro, and laughing together.
"I feel like I have known you forever!" Divinity Mundane cried, clinging to her charmingly helpful fellow friend.
"Perhaps it is fate that I help you." Fleece Swindle smiled.
When they finally arrived at her common cottage, of simple and common possessions, Divinity Mundane stopped at her door. She fiddled through her keys"all two of them"and silentl­y argued how she was going to get them into the lock.
Fleece Swindle, seeing her struggle, aided her.
"You are such a very nice, and honest man, Mr. Swindle."
"Please, call me Fleece."
"What a nice name!" Divinity Mundane giggled, drunkenly."Woul­d you like to come in for a nightcap?"
"I surely would." Fleece Swindle said, and walked arm in arm with Divinity Mundane, shutting the door behind him.
The next day, the sun shone too brightly through her windows. Divinity Mundane awoke to find her shutters were gone, and all of her exclusively common belongings were gone. She arose from the hard floor, wondering where her bed had gone, and why her legs were so sore.
"So much that the prior nights memories have robbed me!" She cried, stumbling hung over to her bathing quarters. She rummaged through her beauty chest, seeking herbs, or possibly an ointment, or a tonic that would help rid her ofher throbbing head pain.
It was then that she realized that not only was her bed missing, and all of her very common belongings, but her mirror was, and the chest she thought she was rummaging through was nothing more than a mere hallucination of her imagination.
"My goodness!" She cried."Where have my belongings gone?"
The day went by, but the mysterious stranger from the night before was both forgotten, and gone forever. As the afternoon swept over the lands, Divinity Mundane, being a spectacularly beautifu lwoman, ­ of an entirely too common wisdom, sat where her dining table had once been, and stared at the blank spot on her wall, where her common wood burning stove used to be.
Feeling helpless, Divinity Mundane began to cry.
A passing gypsy heard her weeping from outside her cottage, for the door that had separated the inside from the outside was indeed gone, stolen by Fleece Swindle, who Divinity Mundane neither remember, nor would ever see again.
"Ho! Ho, in there!" The old gypsy called out. "Who cries?"
Divinity Mundane appeared in the empty space where her door had been, still weeping. "It is I, Divinity Mundane. I weep because I have lost all things in this world that I had."
"Oooh," The gypsy cackled, "...not ­ everything."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," The old gypsy woman smiled coyly, pulling a small ivory pipe from within the layers of her clothes. " seems to me, so strongly, you glow with more than just a life of your own." She said, putting a strange blend of herbs into her pipe. The old gypsy, ancient, and thin lit her pipe, and inhaled deeply. Divinity Mundane stood with an unexceptional expressionon her face as the gypsy exhaled, blowing the smoke into her face.
Divinity Mundane coughed on the stink of the acrid smoke.

© 2013 Junert

Author's Note

I copied this from a site. Not to take credit but to share. I laughed so much reading this that I had to share.

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Do you have the address of the original site? I want to see how it was presented! Thanks for spreading this, Jun :)

Posted 5 Years Ago

Captivating, if a little crude and in need of an edit, but captivating!

Posted 5 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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2 Reviews
Added on March 14, 2013
Last Updated on March 14, 2013
Tags: fairytale



Tema, Greater Accra, Ghana

I'm intrested in writing and reading fictional novels. Also wants to make friends with people with such intrests. more..

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