Meltdowns

Meltdowns

A Poem by Justin
"

Meltdowns is something that I have

"

meltdowns is something

i have

it can happen

anytime

i can be

calm

then all of

a sudden

i start

having one

it consist

of lots crying

my brain is

racing so fast

sometimes don't

know what i am

doing when i have it

but once it is out

and it is over

it feels like

i ran long

relay race

i feel tired

hungry

calm

but mostly

tired


© 2018 Justin



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Amy
Love this. presentation definitely goes with the written word

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks Amy!!!
I think this does convey, to me, a panic attack. Really brilliant. I love the layout, the way it is written and how it does have a flow to it. Again, really good. Keep at it :-)

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks 😃😃😃 I am glad u can relate to it 😃
I like this poem because I believe many people can relate to it, and I like how real and honest your words are!

I would recommend adding either some commas or periods at certain parts of it, and the word "consist" needs an "s" at the end in this case! :)

Nice job justin!

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks Sarah!!! I will take your advice!!
such a emotional read, nicely written

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks 😃😃😃😃
wow I loved this, its very relatable and emotional.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks Desiree 😃😃
I like the poem so far! The contrast of a simplistic piece with such a complex subject of meltdowns is very interesting. I'd recommended re-reading the poem for missing words, capitalizing words that need to be capitalized (like "I"), and adding punctuation. I would love to re-read any revisions you make! Great work so far, can't wait to read more!

Posted 10 Months Ago


Justin

10 Months Ago

Thanks Elizabeth!!! Always open to improving my work

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Added on January 16, 2018
Last Updated on January 16, 2018

Author

Justin
Justin

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