The Breeze

The Breeze

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze

She shivered with envy
when the breeze touched his naked skin..

He got Goosebumps
seeing her quiver in the rain.

© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze



Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Thank you for your time!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Wow..This is truly an expression of a lot of unsaid passion!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you!
Few words, deep emotion. I see like an image of a man giving his coat to a freezing woman. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Nice interpretation!
Thank you for reading and leaving the kind comment!
Love the way you keep it short but express a lot..
Keep writing more poems like this .. Brilliantly written.. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words! Much appreciated!
Oh dear,i lovr your poems..always on point..this one is fantastic..you portrayed so much in just 4 lines..

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Oh thank you, dear!
Your kind words are much appreciated!
Mary Helda Akongo

2 Years Ago

you are welcome :-)
i really love reading it ... thanks a lot for sharing it

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much.
zunie frost

2 Years Ago

welcome !!!!!
Okay so this is a personal stance of mine, the smaller the piece, the more possibilities it contains and I keep rereading this but I'm full of questions. Such as, why is she shivering with ENVY? Does she want his clothes? BUT NO WAIT, he's naked! or is it because he isn't in the rain himself? Since it is breeze that is touching him, unlike her, who is drenched in rain, Is she envious of how unaffected he is by the weather and wants shelter? What is the guy feeling? Is it sensual? Is it desire? or is it pity and fear of their places? (maybe she is poor and he isn't, maybe he can see her from his home.) or perhaps they are lovers? So many questions. I know most writing is open to interpretations but I would be grateful if you told me the initial intention behind this.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

I don't remember very clearly, why I wrote this but I think it was something about both the lovers b.. read more
Eliot Knight

2 Years Ago

oh so she envies the wind! yes that does make more sense haha, thanks for clarifying :)
Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping by. Always welcome. :)
I love this. Thanks for sharing!!! It's simply amazing! ^^♥

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping by. Glad you liked it.
wow ! love ,rain,naked and goose bumps,you covered it all.painted a lovely image

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you Wordman for stopping by and leaving this kind comment! :)
Gosh, Jyoti!

Such is the beautiful moment you've created with your word brush upon the canvas of our willing and grateful imaginations.
Your deft economy of grammatical necessity weaves its warming embrace around us to take part in the moment with you, and "this", my dear, is a tact that cannot be taught … it is inherent in the nature of your skills, feeling, and emotive depths.

Wondrously arousing to the senses, too … I love it, Jyoti, very much! ⁓ Richard


[psst! consider omitting the unnecessary "the" before Goosebumps … too many "the" words in four lines] : )

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Okay got it. :) thanx.
Richard

2 Years Ago

Anytime … for You, anything! : )
Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thanx...:)
dear Jyoti... the rain touching along
with the breeze is very sensual...
I thought of flowers in a gentle rain...
truly, Pat

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much Patricia for your kind, encouraging review!

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1088 Views
45 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 21, 2015
Last Updated on January 20, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

Writing
Unsaid Unsaid

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Rescued Rescued

A Story by Jyoti_Ablaze