As fate shall have it

As fate shall have it

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze
"

Just life

"


There lived a bird, on the top of a tree

She chirped & tweeted in morning spree

Happy and gay, she settled in her nest

Awaiting the day, taking some rest.

 

She never suspected, the day would change

Nothing seemed obvious in far range

But suddenly the rustle stopped altogether,

The sham blue sky changed its colour.

 

Dark, storm clouds veiled the sun

Shadow covers the nest. There’s nowhere to run

Gripped in fear, the bird spread her wings,

To cover her nest and the eggs within

 

Three little eggs nestled there bare

Hatching was near, no time to spare.

The bird was now, anxious and scared.

But summoned courage & came prepared.

 

Wild wind blew, she shuddered with the tree

Rooted her claws and started to plea.

Her heart thundered when the sky broke,

Drenching the earth with giant strokes

 

The rain teared, no caressing drizzle fell

But a torrent, enough to fill a well

Now was the time to take the rein

Not to be panic stricken as bane.

 

The bird knew that the time had come,

To do something and save the eggs from

The merciless rain that poured and poured,

Formed a reservoir, impossible to ford

 

Fluttering her wings in frantic attempts,

She searched for something, anything in contempt

Found a bay leaf floating below

With tact she brought it from the water shallow.

 

She gathered her strength, with the leaf in her beak.

Placed it between her trembling nest and the wind

Like a shield she stood for the sword to strike

Determined to live and ready to die

 

She started to hope that she might win,

But a wild gush of air took the rein.

Knocked her hard and out of the nest

Fate’s whim inflicted woe and distress.

 

The wings rendered her life that eve

But the eggs fell down, nature heaved.

Three little birds never saw the sun,

Died in the shells, act was done!

 

 

© 2017 Jyoti_Ablaze


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Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
"Life is unfair and it spares nobody"
I am aware about my incompetence with grammar, any suggestion to rectify the errors will be of great help.
Thank you for your time!

My Review

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Featured Review

No!!! you have me in tears right now. Poor thing, nature could be so cruel sometimes. Thanks for writing this wonderful piece. You know, as writers we sometimes hope to move someone with our words; you my dear friend have accomplished just that. So many emotions right now, especially anxiety and desperation. Great Job and thanks for sharing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your heartfelt review, Alex!
I am glad you felt the piece! :)



Reviews

This is so true life is not fair but it is
what we make of this unfairness that dictates
the quality of our lives if we cower like victims
we will be . great poem Iam bad at grammer
also but bear was of great help to me .

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Bear's review was a great help to me as well!
Thank you for your commentary! :)
butterfly desire

8 Years Ago

Your welcome
Okay, that was surely a twist of fate. I was expecting a happy ending, but the last four lines threw me off guard. Nicely done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the commentary! :)
Sebastian Falzarano

8 Years Ago

Your welcome.
No!!! you have me in tears right now. Poor thing, nature could be so cruel sometimes. Thanks for writing this wonderful piece. You know, as writers we sometimes hope to move someone with our words; you my dear friend have accomplished just that. So many emotions right now, especially anxiety and desperation. Great Job and thanks for sharing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your heartfelt review, Alex!
I am glad you felt the piece! :)
vivid change of emotions, well portrayed. great narration of nature's wrath. i have a few suggestions, please don't think i'm criticizing.
in 'It weren't the small drops that fell', i felt that 'the' could be removed.
the first line can be changed into 'there lived a bird, perched upon a ___ tree' . by specifying the type of tree, we can add to the feeling and imagery. i have plenty more suggestions and am sure that this poem can be morphed into a masterpiece. Keep writing!


Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review.
Sugesstions were helpful, I appreciate. :)
Great poem Jyoti. I love the way you've told a whole story in your poem and even included a moral! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you Andrea, for your kind words! :)
Well composed. Keep writing :-)!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you!
Lovely story as well as the telling of the story, the rhyme scheme is nice and the meter just flows it is so smooth. I look forward to reading more of your work :~)

I disagree with Edis about the punctuation, if you read any of my poems this is what you will see posted in my authors note after each poem (I leave most punctuation to the reader that they can read the poem in their own meter, mood and motility).

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your encouraging review!
Nice poem! i don't want to sound like a grammar nazi, but try to make sure that you place periods in your poems at the end of your finished sentences before you publish it. but still it doesnt matter, great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Point noted.
Thank you very much for the advice and the kind review.
ah, and life is like that... but it doesn't prevent us from living and trying to overcome fears and obstacles... it doesn't stop us from protecting those we love, even if it means we, and they suffer... it is in the act of putting oneself before others that is the true test of humanity and we can do well to observe nature at work...well-done...

a couple of tense items you may want to change:

line 5 should read ...the day would change

ist line in stanza 7 should read ...that the time had come

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Yes, you are right. At the end, all that matters is humanity and virtue.
Thank you for sugge.. read more
....................

8 Years Ago

You are welcome! I really enjoyed this poem!!! :)
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

I am glad you enjoyed it!
You told a real and sad story. Nature can be cold and heartless. I have heard mother bird cry out for lost babies. A lonely cry. I do believe the heart of the animals are under estimated. Thank you for sharing the excellent story in the poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

You are right.
Thank you for your insights.
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome.

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Added on August 22, 2015
Last Updated on February 10, 2017

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
Hey! I am Jyoti, have seen 21 winters pass without a trace of snow; (it never snows in the west region of INDIA). Hope to see it someday..! Believe in living and loving every moment of life.. Of cou.. more..

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