Creeping murk

Creeping murk

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze


So many screams muffled into silences

Silences that echoed through the walls

Walls that wept blood, night and day

The blood clotted and turned black

As black as her sooty eyes.





© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze


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Reviews

it's just happening since long that women're oft. crushed down under the chest of men, & well consumed by their starved-behaviour... perhaps, however, yet indeed it's true sayin' that... now-a-days, such cynicism type love has almost reached beyond the edge of 'creepy-ness' which further has yo today so spoiled around the arena o' 'tis trespass wickedly pickedly so sicked world. and your poetry generously shedding a spray of such lightness 'pon the hearts'. kinda very deep but yes.. also a very dark poetry you come to get licked in. nicely done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind commentary.
Adam Adams

7 Years Ago

been a kind pleasure readin' some of your work, & watching the analogies of love-norms in your words.. read more
Wow! Very well done. Thus piece as a darkness to it that I love. Great job. It not to dark it just perfect!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your kind commentary. It's very encouraging.
Each image leads to another. I like how you have progressed with this short poem.
A very dark yet beautiful write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you Shabeeh! Glad you visited.
Shabeeh Haider

7 Years Ago

Most welcome
Murk is a good word, never knew of it before. I could picture so many things happening simply because one can't see. Well verse, your poem is. Tyfs!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you Cyprian. Well, even I love the mysterious vibes the word brings.
Cyprian Van Dyke

7 Years Ago

You're most welcome Jyoti_Ablaze.
Woah. This is a very cool, dark poem. I like the way that each image builds off of the one before it. The phrases "screams muffled into silences" and "silences that echoed" are both very interesting, playing with the ideas of sound and silence in a rather paradoxical and sinister way. "Walls that wept blood" is also cool, especially in the way that weeping is brought full-circle through "sooty eyes" (which are as black as the blood wept by the walls - wow, quite the image there!) Overall, there is a lot of highly intense imagery wrapped into this short piece. Nice work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you Alicia. Sometimes my imagination go wild and i can never help it.
Well this poem is definitely dark. The image also adds plenty. Your use of simple words and short lines give more power to the poem.


Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review. Glad you visited.
Fascinating, certainly, and well written. The brevity of this poem works well to highlight its story. I wonder, does this poem relate to any event in history?

Posted 7 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review.
And no, I don't remember any event in history that inspired t.. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

7 Years Ago

Oh yes, now when I read this again, I do feel it could b easily related to historical bloodshed.. Th.. read more
Aventicus

7 Years Ago

You are quite welcome.
wow, that was shorter than I though I really wanted to read more, good job

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you! Glad you liked it!
a mysterious write ,reminded me of old mystery movies from the 50`s

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping by!
 wordman

8 Years Ago

your light was on and i smelled the coffee brewing
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Oh good you did! Welcome then, I always like company.
Wow... I especially liked this line...Silences that echoed through the walls... you could say it speaks volumes. Lol. This is a well done poem and highly descriptive. It evokes imagery in and of itself. Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'', but my friends call me Wolf.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Oh thank you Wolf!
It is the line that propagated this whole piece. Glad you liked it.

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Added on September 7, 2015
Last Updated on September 8, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
Hey! I am Jyoti, have seen 21 winters pass without a trace of snow; (it never snows in the west region of INDIA). Hope to see it someday..! Believe in living and loving every moment of life.. Of cou.. more..

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