Creeping murk

So many screams muffled into silences

Silences that echoed through the walls

Walls that wept blood, night and day

The blood clotted and turned black

As black as her sooty eyes.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of words. You said a handful in so few words. Nice visions create by good description and strong ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Richard🖌]

I read this one earlier, I think yesterday, but set it aside to come back to it and the other two I already reviewed today.
The eyes are mesmerizing, as are your lines of verse that literally speak of that which feels like ugly abuse, depression, and meanness.
I am glad you got this one out of your system … sheesh, Jyoti, your pen got loaded with evil ink!
In your final line, there are two "black" words … maybe, you might consider:

"As black as her midnight eyes." or ebony eyes, or some-such.

Whatever, it may be odd to say, but I love this, and the picture is the perfect choice to set the ambience and mood for the power in your words to come; brilliant work, Dear Poetess … thank you! 〜 Richard

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much, Richard.
In the wake of suspectgray's and your suggestion I have altered the word that seemed repeating.
Glad you liked it!

[Richard🖌]

"Sooty" is a strong choice, Jyoti, and I am honored you took my suggestion, but what does "In the wake of suspectgray's" mean?

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

That's name of a poet who reviewed this as well.

[Richard🖌]

Oh, duh!
Well, I rarely (if ever) read other people's reviews … it feels like eavesdropping or being nosy and prying, but I'll take a peek at theirs. ; )

[Richard🖌]

I did find it, but his reason to change it is different from mine … you might keep mindful of using the same word too many times in one poem, especially so close together, but it is great now, thanks to some good advice from your watchful poet buddies, eh?

[SuspectGray]

I like the progression of this poem....each vision echoing in another. I would, however, like to see a word other than "black" to describe her "coal-black" eyes.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I will try to imbibe your suggestion. Thank you for the review.

[SuspectGray]

Good thing it's non-alcoholic ( : O )

[Avinash]

Pain which can not be explained by the words but can be understood only through the spaces between them. Deep cathartic write.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yes the pain of emptiness..
Thank you for your comment!

[Lyingwithlions]

Wow! Great piece.

"Silences that echoed through the walls"

Very powerful and haunting words, that says so much and can be interpreted in so many ways.
Sometimes silence can be unbearable, and deafening. But silence is silence and it shouldn't make sense, but it does to me. :)

Thank you for sharing!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the kind review!

[zaisham9393]

This is amazing :).perfectly describes depression, inner emptiness and how we all feel at times...
Many can relate to it.
thank you 4 sharing :)!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much.

[Hakim]

This is a great piece. I applaud the power you created behind it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Stan Lee]

Very scary.............. A sign of great art is when it makes the reader feel emotion. You've definitely done that here. *shivers*

:) Keep smiling Jyoti... I like happy poetry!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Andrea, you gave me the best compliment. And don't worry a happy poem is on its way!

[terry smith]

Very nice Jyoti!! very expressive!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Perkele.7885]

I am not usually one that dabbles with the darker side of life anymore, I spent too much time, if you will, uncover, being someone other than myself.
But, your poem is good. Concise and very well written!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I myself don't like to dwell in the darker side, but these days this is what comes out.
Thank you for your commentary.