En Medias Res (That Gentleman With The Gun)

A hostage situation XD

The weather...oh, don’t get me started on the furiously cold weather. Oh, hang on! I should introduce myself! I’m...eh maybe I should get to know you guys first. Anyway, the situation is basically, the guy I’m after is looking for a bit of fun. He kidnapped some girl and is holding her hostage on the roof of this building. I find it strange that he randomly chose me for something so dangerous. But heck, I like adventure so, whatever, you know? I’m wearing all black. Black boots, jeans, a t-shirt, and a trenchcoat. What can I say? I like black. But I do have a silver pistol with me so, yeah  I guess that counts as color a little. Did I mention my mind wanders? It does. A lot.

I climb to the top of the building and stand tall. My clothes are worn and tattered but that just makes me look cool. Seriously, how many movies have you seen where messed up clothes make the guy look awesome? Count. Go ahead, I’ll stop narrating for a second....did you count? No? Well, I counted eighteen I saw recently. Anywho, the man has the girl, I think her name is Aylissa in the classic hostage position. I point my gun at him, “I got you. Let the girl go....um, what’s your name? Jesse? Heisenberg? Am I close?”

The guy looks offended, “That’s from Breaking Bad, you idiot!”

Oh, yeah, it is...but I can’t lose an argument with the bad guy! “No it isn’t.”

Aylissa pipes up, “That is so from Breaking Bad!”

I point my gun at her, “Hey, shut up...I’m saving your life.”

That silences her.

I point my gun back at the man and pull back the hammer, “I’ve never even heard of the show.”

The guy looks even more pissed, “That is such crap! Everyone watches Breaking Bad! Anyway, my name is Derek. Now...you know who my father is! You can’t do-!”

“That’s from Sin City!”

Derek is shocked, “Is it? Really?”

“Yeah, I watched it a week ago.”

“Oh...well it’s a good movie.”

“Indeed it is, but don’t you think this is a bit cliche?”

“What do you mean?”

“The setting? Your hostage position. It’s all kinda dumb.”

Derek thinks for a bit, “Come to think of it, doesn’t everyone parody these scenes?”

They so do.Have you guys ever seen Family Guy or South Park? These moments are always trashed.

Derek disappointedly says, “Should I come up with a new plan and we can give this another shot tomorrow?”

“No, no. This’ll work out just fine, trust me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, no, just keep going.”

“For Christ’s sake, just shoot him!” Aylissa screams.

I fire a bullet so fast, Derek doesn’t even finish the sentence he was going to start. He falls back, to the ground, eyes opened wide and a bullet between them. I think of a one liner, “Nighty night, Tuco.”

“His name’s Derek.” Aylissa corrects me.

“Whatever. You okay, Melissa?”

“Aylissa.”

“You wanna get held hostage again?”

“No.”

“Then, shut up.”

Author's Note

A short passage about le man with no name who saves a girl from being killed

Reviews

[D.T. Tucker]

It was pretty funny, actually.

[jay]

this is cool i would love to do this as a film this is cool wow