Deep Pool

Diving into this pool of sadness has

left me without clear vision.

Blinking though mustered murk

I’ve been blinded

Allow me, please to explore the avenues of 

this pool alone. 

My heart tightens like a petrified rock 

Sinking to the depths, sinking …. 

Refusing to let go the grief 

breath becomes thin 

desperately pushing back tears only ever

encouraged by me.

Is it the pain of sorrow 

I fight? 

Tell me, how do I make friends 

With this emotion who enjoys sucking the 

spirit right out of my veins?

In a world built on emotion 

allow me please to filter my way back 

to all encompassing love

where understanding is the tripping point 

….and my heart shall once again know flight.

Reviews

[Nipplegrinder]

There's so much in this! The first two stanzas just mesmerize!
The pain of the rest was palpable.
Well scribed, K.

[LouisianaBird]

This piece has such great potential! I really connect with the theme and what you're trying to convey. I think that there are some parts however that are just a tad awkward. I am not too keen on the line, "mustered murk" I also believe that if you took out the word pool in the lines, "Allow me, please to explore the avenues of

this pool alone.

My heart tightens like a petrified rock

Sinking to the depths, sinking …. "

such a strong stanza!!

Good work :)

[KWP]

Thanks for your great feedback - well worth a thought :D ... Awkward in parts you say - yeah I can understand that XXX

[emmajoy]

There are times when losing self seems to be the only option, perhaps hope's flown away and the void it's left is impossible to fill. Things happen, at the time people say, 'There, there, time will heal.. .. ' True, yes, very true, until similar happens to them... not that one would ever want that, even the worst whatever.

Sadness is, like love, almost indescribable to someone even a stride away. You describe the pool as if you're away from reality, slipping and floating away, helpless. Understanding takes time to save a life.. tis the tragedy seen outside of theatres.. even that of the mind.

Your words, as always, are incredibly powerful, resonant, they shout in the loudest whisper Their pain is almost too honest a sensation. Your writing always touch, impress..

[barleygirl]

I really love this poem as an artistic expression for very yukky sensations. This could be a description of falling into some deep dark pool in life's rocky journey . . . or it could also be a Halloween style story that describes this mournful situation as a little bit spooky & haunted . . . leave me alone to my deep dark pool of creepiness! I'm the type who goes into a corner to nurse my wounds, not allowing other in, until I've gotten thru the worst of the pain. Your story sounds like that to me (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[KWP]

oh barely girl you do have a special way of looking at life :) how fortunate you are XXX thank you XX

[Luissanto]

When I finished reading your piece, I went back and read it again. It is the kind of piece which stays with you, haunts you and touches you deep inside your soul. I felt every pain and every sorrow with each line I read. This piece is not just a great read but it is something to experience. You are truly a gifted writer... Thank you for sharing.

[KWP]

what a lovely review :D ... you made my day turn bright ... oh but now its night ... it's shining here ... LOVE X

[andrew mitchell]

Nice write Liz, how one can drown oneself in deep pools!

[Chris Shaw]

Such sadness, so deep has robbed the author of any focus. She is aware though of what is happening and knows that negative emotion saps the spirit. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to climb again. That is the feeling I was getting from this poem. There is a desire for this to end, and your final lines ended on a more uplifting note.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

we never do like the hard parts do we ;) i especially appreciate the wisdom when you talk of the sorrow as a friend to be accepted ... i think it may be the same for "blindness" ... it's in those places we find Faith and trust ... without needing the knowledge .. the why, how or what of things .. really doesn't matter does it? :) deep pools will never hurt us unless we become snared by fear .... love your stuff ma'am .. and this is no exception ... your words move me to my inner places ... peace and love and hugs Bug. (can i call you Bug?)
:))))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[Neville]

Deep pools can be deceptive and dangerous.. I'm gonna risk it and stick to paddling... I like these words tho... N

[angel]

My goodness; what a deep pool this is...I can feel the rock dragging you down as you struggle to reach the surfsce, where there is light, and air.
Dublin, you know, means 'deep pool"--Doov Lin sounds the Gaelic word it comes from.