Save Me

I am faced with two choices: Save myself or Drown in my depression.

It scratches at surface

Threatening to come over, spill out

The tears, the angst, the depression

The loathing of myself

I force myself to swallow it down

And blink the tears away

Lock it up, push it down, make it small

Ignore it, distract it

With fleeting happiness, but it doesn't work

Even as I laugh, in the back of my mind

I can feel it, waiting to to pounce

As soon as my guard is down

Sometimes it wins, and as everyone is happy

I alone cry, body aching from all the pain

It is not physical no, if it were only so

But it resides there, in my heart, my soul, my mind

The darkness called depression

You grow concerned and beg me to talk

And I come close to cracking, so close

But the blood sleeping into my clothes reminds me

I cannot tell a soul, so I lie and say

'It's okay'

Don't you see?

If I hold it in like this, you won't have to hurt for me

And it will be okay, 'It's okay' I say

As I drown in a sea of lies and misery

Suffocate in the darkness below

Because when you are like me

You do not deserve the sun

To breathe, I tell myself

You cry, beg me to stop it

And it hurts, hurt so much

Can't you see?

I'm saving you from me

So I continue and as I do I sink lower

And lower until I am at the bottom

And it is only as I am on the last breathe of air

I realize I want you to help me

Save me, fix me, mend me

But it is too late, and I regret

Everything as the world fades to black

And there is no Point anymore

No anything.

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

Good write... nice flow of words... and a pessimistic taste of the poem is depressing. Worked out well though.

~Sophy

[Estelle]

Thank you very much, I'm glad it worked out!