remains

...a cinquiano

 

 

vanished

everything that made me ME...gone

all that remains...a shell

just a body

breathing

Reviews

[Michael]

I think you have a really nice work here. I have to admit I am not truly schooled with the Cinqo family of poem forms so please forgive me if I get this wrong - I think you have an extra syllable in line 3. You could rework it like this: "all that remains - my shell"

Now this is a technical point and does not take anything away from the powerful emotion you gave the work. I really do like it a lot.

[justjenn_2u]

I can feel the pain of one's soul being taken, as I have had this happen to me. Getting the soul back is unpredictable and painful.

I enjoyed your honesty here.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Great choice of words to project the feeling of loneliness.

Sal