Peace by Piece

"Just Be Yourself!"

Empty words-
spoken brightly with a smile,
their heads cocked to the side
like the spaniel your Nana used to have
that was always underfoot -
always attempting to please you,
but instead
creating a slow-simmering resentment
each time it caused you to stumble
and spill your milk and cookies.

At every “first day” -
first date -
every interview-

But my “self”
doesn’t fit any job description.

No one is searching
for shaking hands
a trembling voice
a brain full of fog
a shy, stammering mess
of pain and twitches
and unpredictable tears.

Nobody wants
my deep conversation
taking the place of small-talk
and sales pitches.

I can’t fake a smile
or choke down the bites-
too big-
that I didn’t even want
to take in the first place.

We are force-fed,
a manufactured sense of Self.

Nobody actually
wants to finish the puzzle-

So I stopped
trying to fit mine in,
and make Peace with my Piece
unconventionally.