Black Holes in the Center of Conch Shells

Black Holes in the Center of Conch Shells

A Poem by A Glow in the Pit of My Soul

I’m blank faced, as bleach white as bones, 

as pure bright as supernovae. 

And you are a black hole, 

sucking away all my light. 

Negative space. 

You feed on everyone around you, 

and the darker they become, 

the closer they are to giving in to you. 

Giving in, and becoming a 

draining 

black 

void 

just like you, 

until the color is gone from the world in front of us.

 

The vacancy of light, 

and energy, 

and love. 

Devoid of life, a walking death.

I cannot let you dull me out. 

I will never bother to understand 

how I was once a nebula inside your atmosphere, 

for even the answers to these questions 

were consumed by your vacuous being, 

never to be found. 

Now, you & I, we are polarized opposites,

My gravity grounds the dwarf stars around me

and my light can guide the way, 

and I will shine, 

shine, 

shine 

until color blooms again for us and drowns you out.

And when you are gone, I still won’t feel. 
For how would one comprehend the absence of absence?

© 2015 A Glow in the Pit of My Soul


Author's Note

A Glow in the Pit of My Soul
for my father ||| dual poem to Black Eyed Susans in the Center of Conch Shells

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like the font and layout of this poem, and I think you have a lot of ability. I don't think the first three lines are necessary. They start the poem out cheaply, and don't respect it. The polarization between you/star and black hole/ them works well . Feels loving though, as if your going to give into the black hole. In nature you would.
"until the color is gone from the world in front of us' could be shortened or just scraped I believe. Then it's fine until the second to last stanza. Completely shifts tone, and it's not enough to time to reavaluate. Also the bold is shouting at me, when I think it should be whispering.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A Glow in the Pit of My Soul

9 Years Ago

I'll edit this so there's more clarity. It's not a loving poem and I think the use of they/us gets c.. read more



Reviews

"Absence of Absence" definitely describes the relationship I have with my own father. I feel this poem and it hits me close to my heart. It captures the raw emotion that I feel toward him. I like the bold font. It reminds me of his last visit to my home...didn't end quietly.


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


A Glow in the Pit of My Soul

9 Years Ago

Thank you Roma, as always.
I really like the font and layout of this poem, and I think you have a lot of ability. I don't think the first three lines are necessary. They start the poem out cheaply, and don't respect it. The polarization between you/star and black hole/ them works well . Feels loving though, as if your going to give into the black hole. In nature you would.
"until the color is gone from the world in front of us' could be shortened or just scraped I believe. Then it's fine until the second to last stanza. Completely shifts tone, and it's not enough to time to reavaluate. Also the bold is shouting at me, when I think it should be whispering.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A Glow in the Pit of My Soul

9 Years Ago

I'll edit this so there's more clarity. It's not a loving poem and I think the use of they/us gets c.. read more

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2 Reviews
Added on January 24, 2015
Last Updated on February 2, 2015

Author

A Glow in the Pit of My Soul
A Glow in the Pit of My Soul

MA



About
My Legs Can Barely Hold All My Heart & Soul. Live Tall, Live Loud, Live Wide. I was born an old soul with a fresh face, and a knack for taking whatever is in front of me and creating a mast.. more..

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