rewound

there is a sadness 
that seeps and stings
set upon my bones 
an infection in the marrow
of my self perception
an exhaustion 
that snakes it’s way
that binds, wraps
and wrings my respiration.

resistance 
breaks a rib. 
defiance
deflates a lung. 
struggle
splits my sternum.

inhalations like an avalanche
repelling down my spine
somewhere from my core
a persistent hiss
“do it just do it do it” 
this needling chant,
not of positive propulsion,
reeks of setbacks
I am rewound and re-wounded.

it is ropes and clydesdales. 
clashing hooves, frothing muzzles,
and shaking sweaty manes. 
it is a slow and brutal dragging. 
it is road rash - 
crushed violet bruise, 
pink slip of flesh, 
yolks of pus.
I am the crack of the whip
and the shackled captive.
self slaughter in sunset tones