Late Nights + Lizard Brains

My left hand pulses from a late night bleach submersion 
skin pulled taut like cling wrap on someone’s forgotten leftovers 
I woke up with a stalled heart and stale breath 5 minutes before I was supposed to leave 
an hour later and my body’s still stiff with lingering adrenaline waiting for the threat that never comes 
any amount of comforting thoughts cant soften me 
all the reasoning in the world wont rub the historical knots out of my body 
they say never put oils on a burn it will only hold in the heat
so why is my skin crying out in thirst?
why are instincts sometimes our worst?
you have to go back to birth if you want to untangle a 27 year old knot that hasn’t stopped twisting
no matter how many late evenings turn into watching glowing suns rising 
no matter all the slates wiped clean with chemicals
they always look a hint of dirty when the stain runs as deep as the dawn of your existence