Triggers' Taboo Part 1

A Poem by Khan-Starr

Triggers' Taboo Part 1: a poem written by Khandin Starr McColley on January 7th, 2016. Documented with this is my natal chart along with the transits at the time of writing this.

Why must it be all or nothing?
It's always something;
the conflicts that must sting,
arguing for nothing,
apologies and bluffing.
A part of me is wondering
"why and for what?".
I guess the God in you touched me.
It's like I'm haunted by something.

Is it my heart or my psyche?
As history repeats itself 
in the same damn cycles,
I wonder to myself,
this time, is it coming back to bite me?

We all have triggers.
I do not get
allowing the triggers to exist
once you've been made aware of it.
If a trigger gets pulled it
(even if on accident)
unleashes a bullet.
It rips through the air
and by then it's hard to stop it.
Somebody could get shot, so watch it.
Who is not haunted?
Dig your subconscious
to figure what is nonsense.
Even when I'm pissed off;
even when my heart is ripped,
my literature is, and always will be God-sent.

It's like entering a place of solitude,
and pulling all of my own triggers,
aiming only at myself,
to break a karmic spell
of the cards I dealt,
then healing my own wounds, but not through guilt.
As the blood of my heart is spilled,
I am killed.
All that is left of me is "Do what thou wilt".
On that note, I shall write
with no apologies and no guilt:

Why must it be all or nothing?
It's always something;
the conflicts that must sting,
arguing for nothing,
apologies and bluffing.
A part of me is wondering
"why and for what?".
I guess the God in you touched me.
It's like I'm haunted by something
and I'm bleeding bullets.
If all of this is for nothing
am I the thief or the fool in this?
The cosmos is exhausting me,
yet, I'm needing more of this.

With a philosophical natal chart,
misery bleeds art.
Is there anybody out there who can see my heart?
I am sexual, intelligent, and a piece of art.
I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
So, if I am to be damned,
give me a pipe of peace and I'll march
to the beat of my heart.
I am the rock to my slingshot
dancing on the strings to my harp.
Many have asked for the keys to my heart,
but I never believed it was locked.
You just have to knock.
What you really need to seek is the keys to my thoughts.
That's where my secrets are.

That is what is hard to tap into
because I am that taboo.
I was born 11-26-1987 at 8:11 pm in Hopkinsville, Ky.
My full birth name is Khandin Starr McColley.
How about you?