Drunk

They say the brightest things must come from darkness,

But this is not the case.

If this is a game...

I don't want to play.

 

No matter how many times you reach the bottom of a bottle

The pain will still be there.

The pain cannot be displaced.

 

You taught me that no matter where life takes you

You're never stuck.

But I have never met a man more trapped by himself"

Than you.

 

Removed.

You say that by leaving

You set me free,

But I don't feel free.

 

How can I tell you,

Crying out with a voice so hoarse,

I love you...

If you're gone.

 

Grief.

Because your absence fills the room

More than your presence ever could,

And I can't bear to think about it.

 

I once heard you could be homesick,

Not only for home

But for people, too.

I am homesick for you.

So much in life is about letting go,

But I am not prepared to let go.

 

I tell them that you're never coming home,

But the reality is

I still leave the door wide open.

 

But I know you're never coming home.

Because we both know damn well

You need that bottle more than

You'll ever need me.

Author's Note

Feedback and comments are welcome; this is my first stab at poetry and I'm trying out writing about topics I feel passionate towards and think others may relate to. This is a piece that's quite personal. Hope you enjoy!

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

I liked the poem. I got some definite vibes as I was reading. It's more free-form than it is structured (i.e. you don't really keep to a specific frame.) That doesn't hurt the poem for me, though. What hurts the poem for me, while it tells a sad and moving story, is that there seem to be a conflict of interest. Perhaps that was intentional? You shift the focus from yourself and focus on the man, "But I have never met a man more trapped by himself' // Than you." It's like on one hand you're extremely sad and depressed, but on the other hand you're angry and wanting to chew him out. While I think this may be a weak point, it could easily be argued the other way. I hope you'll keep writing and channel those energies.

[alifeacoustic]

Absolutely beautiful. I felt every word, as you took me on such a personal journey. A frank and honest depiction of loss and it's cause. Wonderful write. Thank you for sharing.

[Kiana]

Really enjoyed this! So much emotion throughout this entire thing, I got chills and my heart was breaking by the end. Keep writing, you've definitely got talent! x. :)

[Kierstyn]

Thank you so much! :)

[Rahul Chhabra]

The poem was really beautiful and captivating. The way you portrayed that empty spot, that nothingness which the man left behind touches the reader's heart. The poem seems to have a soul of it's own which cries out loud in the solitary night. I feel wordless trying to say more. The poem is so deep and gripping that one can just feel and experience not express. I highly appreciate your work. Good luck. Happy writing. :)

[Kierstyn]

Thank you for the very kinda review! I'm slowing taking a step towards using writing as an outlet and am happy to hear others can feel the emotion too. :)

[Rahul Chhabra]

You are welcome. If you have some time to spare, do review my writing too.

[Heartful5160]

This is a wonderful poem!! So emotional and really when I was reading it, it brought memories of my own father, that was a hard drunk and he died of hear attack...but I'm glad that you wrote a piece that some people may be able to connect with. Great piece!!! Personal happenings in our lives are always good to share with others...Someone may have been through the same issue and somehow you and that person could click some how..Great job and keep writing, my friend!!!

[Kierstyn]

Thank you! I'm glad you could find a connection in where I was writing and hope to find others who may relate as well. :)

[Heartful5160]

Very much so!!! You're more than welcome!!

[Justin]

That was really good ) it expressed a lot of emotion in it )great job