Welcome of the Chalk Outline

I am not myself, i am not me.
I am the essence of what i
Can be, what could come
Of me, if there is more to me
Than meets the eye, i
Want to keep it hidden.

I try to find it, that feeling.
I believe it's there, somewhere,
But i do not deserve that love.
I fall, alone and cold.
I hear the screams of my past
Echoe through my mind.

The lights, so bright, a
Blinding hatred overpowers
This underpowering sense.
All my questions, solved
With one painless and pointless
Answer.
The concrete jungle closes in.

I see faces, known, unknown
And to be known, they appear
Fixated on something below,
But a growing chalk outline
Awaiting my arrival.
The feeling of freedom releases
Me from my unearthly troubles.

The only bliss i've had the courtesy
Of introducing myself to, with open arms.
Cut.
It ends.
All hope, all bliss, all agony, beauty and joy.
Gone.
Before thy end, one only feels regret.

Author's Note

First piece written in quite some time, so it's not great.

Reviews

[Saint No-One]

Oh I loved this. In the strangest way it reminds me of a suicide attempt. The pain, oppressive, closing in. The feeling that there is no escape. That final bursting free from that cloistered negativity, hope, then the crush. Finally the overwhelming remorse, regret, the wish to take it all back. Particularly poignant is the line "if there is more to me / than meets the eye, I / want to keep it hidden." It elicits the pain of someone who has been burned before, and hides away, like a hermit crab, fearing the pain will come again. It was a great piece.

[Firefly]

Thank you very much! It's not too strange, that was the bases of this piece. This is very close to my heart and i,m glad you liked this.

[Saint No-One]

It reminded me so much of the feelings coursing through me after my first failed suicide attempt that I know that it had to be coming from there or a place equally as dark. I've been there too. I understand.

[Firefly]

It was a bad place, but that regret at the end saved me.

[InsanityWriter]

Wow! This really says a lot... There are so many swirling emotions in your words! And contrary to what you say, I think that it is quite good. Thank you for posting this excellent piece. ^_^ I enjoyed reading it. :)

100/100!!

[Firefly]

Aww wow! Thank you so much, i haven't written anything in a very long time and i'm glad you liked it :D