Suicide

Old poem.

When someone dies people cry.

What if I die.

Will you cry, Or

Will you not care.

Just another face in the crowd I am.

 

Do you even know my name?

Do you recognize me?

Do I catch your attention? Or

Am I worth it?

 

Two things kiss.

That can be good and bad in my case.

That is bad Or

That should be good to you.

A dagger kissed my heart.

Reviews

Try to look for the beat in your writing, try to feel the mood of your words along with the emotion. It might all sound vague, but in poetry people will have to feel the words through other senses.

This was more of a contemplative suicidal thought that comes when we find ourselves insignificant. I would have to say that this genre is a very interesting read. You have good potential and I want to see your future works.

[M. Amphet Salt]

Very well written piece, but I had to read it a couple of times because the syntex is sometimes awkward.
It is extremely free-verse. Little if no rhyme scheme. You are trying to express alot of emotion, but it runs dry for to me for several reasons, and when I read it like this it seemed to have more feeling.

"What if I die.
Will you cry, Or
Will you not care.
Do you even know my name?
Do you recognize me?
Do I catch your attention? Or
Am I worth it?"

These sentences make me feel like someone is questioning suicide, and this is just as powerful as the whole. Your last stanza

"Two things kiss.
That can be good and bad in my case.
That is bad Or
That should be good to you.
A dagger kissed my heart."

Really had no purpose to the rest of the piece and sounds like a teenager just trying to sound cool by writing a poem. Sorry I tore your work up, but I see alot of potential here; however, it just needs to be worked on. Don't give up. Good Job.