My Depressing Lifestyle

S**t!!! Here she comes again!!!! Why me? Why did I have to end up with her as my owner? It’s just not fair!

        As I lay there on her bed awaiting my utter annoyance, I wished for the 1000^th time that I had a different owner. Or that someone could maybe steal me from her. Granted she does take good care of me, my battery never runs flat; I haven‘t been scratched or chipped; my best friends haven‘t been broken or replaced since the day and hour she unwrapped her Christmas peasant and got us… but perhaps she takes care of me too well. I mean… I wouldn’t mind not having my battery flat every once in a while; or having to get re-set every now-and-again; or maybe needing to make new friends.

        It’s not  that I don’t like her… more I don’t like her music. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m glad to have an owner that’s as good to me as she is. When I was in the factory the iPods that were in for repair jobs used to tell us horror stories of their horrible owners. They would wash them. Over charge them. Forget where they were. And some even got dropped down what the humans called: the toilet. It sounded completely terrifying to me, in my infancy. Back before half of my memory was stacked full of lyrics, guitar and bass pieces and drum kits keeping the beat… her horrid choice in music.

        I had originally thought that because I was a black iPod then I’d be bought by, what the others had referred to as, a “Gothic kid” but no. I got bought by the parents who were last-minute-Christmas-shopping for their 12 year-old preppy girl who wanted a pink one. Unfortunately all of the ladies had sold out shortly after we had all been delivered by the store.

        I had seen those “Gothic kids” before, even had some of their music committed to my memory when her brother had played a practical joke on her. And what I learned then… I LOVED it. At least I think I did. She completely removed it from my memory within 3 hours of it going on. I have absolutely nada to go on. I’m sure I liked it. Either way it had to better than this crap that I had to remember now.

        Her music choice has got worse. She now has things - that I’m sure doesn’t classify as music - like High School Musical “songs” and Justin Bieber’s “music” that she forces me to remember.

        As she reached out to me and picked me up I knew that my irritation was inevitable. She pressed one of  my buttons and… nothing. I wasn’t forced to awaken. She then realised that I had been put on hold to save me from being turned on and she took off the hold and again, nothing. She tried to reseat me and nothing. Bliss!!!! Thank God! I couldn’t be turned on! And that’s when she finally realised that for the first time ever… my battery had went flat.

Reviews

[Shattered]

I love it XD idk why but I really do XD

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-G..]

' and Justin Bieber’s “music” ' - This made me laugh out loud. Had I been this ipod, I'd have wished for my battery to keel over as well. There is only so much of 'Baby, baby, baby, ooo, baby....', uh... yeah, not my thing.

This was hilarious but I, too thought it was a dog at first... and found it quite humorous when I realized it was about an ipod. I'm glad I don't own one... but if I did, I think he/she'd be quite amused with my husband's choice of music. But definitely a good write... oh and I agree with another review about taking longer to let us know that it's an ipod. Sometimes being confused isn't all that bad. :)

[The Perfectionist]

Don't write 1000th. Thousandth looks cleaner and it doesn't have the drawback of being long and awkward to write like other large numbers.
You wrote "peasant" once when you meant "present"
There shouldn't be a colon in front of "the toilet" but rather it should be in quotes.
Your batter didn't went flat, it had "gone flat".

English errors aside, this is hilarious and just a great little random piece to read. The ending is a little bit...boring, compared to the rest of the story. You state at the beginning that your battery had never died, and then the big ending is that it does? I don't know, I can just think of a few ways off the top of my head that you could have ended that to keep with the theme.

It was really funny until then, but like the battery, it went flat at the end.

[Cytosine]

This is cool. I like the confusion at first. I thought the narrator was a dog in the beginning, then some kind of slave, then YES - AN iPOD! But I think it would be cooler if you didn't include the word "iPod," i.e. "When I was in the factory the ones that were in for repair jobs..." or "because I was black then I’d be bought by..." I also think you should take some parts out so it takes a little longer to figure out what's going on. If it was like that, readers would have to go back and read it again to fully understand it, which I think would be a good thing.

[Sam]

haha, I love it!!!! This is awesome! I kind of want an ipod like the one, you have seemingly created. Only it would be pointless because I wouldn't be able to hear it's thoughts anyway. You've detailed this perfectly! I feel like my ipod is going to suddenly start swearing at me or something, lol! Nicely done!

[☾Devils⌛Dau..]

I like it keep up the good work! Awesome story! And that's a nice twist you put on the end of it. Haha cute! The iPod got it's happy little ending. Keep up the awesome work! I'm happy you guy's are getting into these prompts!!