Friend of Letters

The story of a girl filled with confusion and hate towards the feeling of love

Ah, my little unaware love. The apple of my eye; my dearest child. I have to say, my beloved, you ruined me. Utterly, completely ruined me.

My everything, my world -- it all crashes to the ground and becomes one with aged rubble of the earth. 

No one knows, of course; not even I.

Everything is an illusion. Nothing is right, nothing makes sense. I only recall it as a blur. 

"I'm coming back to you, no matter what happens." 

My heart announces it everyday, yet I know it will fault my joy.

I will anyway; I'll find the child I lost again, one day. 

I will aid you through your hardships again; watch through the moments of happiness again; cry during times of sorrow again.

I have to. I want to. I need to. 

Five months it's been since I remembered you for a second time. Twice now I have missed you, sought you, loved you.

Before it was for nothing at all, and so it is now.

Your love never lasts, my friend. You never loved me either, did you?

You have forever scorched my mind; forever kept my heart in it's cage.

I have an utmost desire to hate you, my darling, and I almost do. You demonstrated to me what true human nature is like. 

You taught me a valuable lesson, did you not? One I will not forget so easily.

I vow to never love again; to never seek again; never care again.

I know what they all think; how they all work.

I will never put trust in that again, my love.

I have experienced my taste of foolish emotion and rebellious acquaintance; I see no need for more.

They're all the same as you, dear; deceitful, selfish, unloyal and forgetful beings, forever cursed with the spell of death; sin.

You do not deserve for me to remember your name.

You do not deserve for me to look back at you with anything but disgust.

You do not deserve a second glance; because of your actions, I don't give others a first. 

You have changed me forever, yet will I ever forget you?

Your soft awkward smile?

Your absentminded expression as your conscience travels through thought?

Your once loving, caring attitude towards me?

It seems I have already forgotten your selfish, undesirable opinions, your ever-changing, contradicting emotion, your manipulative personality.

I surely have forgotten how you gloat endlessly, put down your audience, go back on your word, and blame anyone but yourself in times of trouble. 

Surely I will not forget who you truly are.

One day, when everything else is wiped away -- the mask, the act, the paint -- I will remember none else than your evil deeds, and you will forever live among flames in my eye.

My darling, I shall never love again. 

  

Reviews

[Regnar]

Very well written! It flows eloquently from thought to thought and I can feel the emotion in the words. If this is a true story, I am sad for you but understand as I feel the same because of another. Although I think I would be the subject of your writing and not the one who was scorned. Very well done and thank you for sharing.

[Aiza E.M. Bridge]

Wow, this is very intense and emotional. I applaud your wording and the strength behind it. I can really feel the love and the pain in your portrayal. Great job.