A Story of a Girl

  “Don’t,” she cried.  “Please, just leave me alone!”

The girl walked backwards until her back touched the wall.  She was cornered – there was no escape.

  “Please, just go away!  Just leave me ALONE!” her words chocked in her throat and came out a high-pitched squeal.  “I don’t want to!  Please!”

  “But I missed you…”

 

Josie was a quiet kid – always sat on her own.  She refused to talk to people in case they found out about her past.

  “Why you sitting by yourself, Josie?”

  She looked up to see her classmate, Desh, smiling at her.

  “Hi, Desh.  I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

  That was her answer for everything – “I have a lot on my mind”.  What exactly did she have on her mind?  Mainly her past.  Why did it bother her so much?  What has it come back to bite her in the a*s?  She wasn’t sure.

 

  “I don’t wanna play ‘dolly’ today.”

Her eyes filled with tears, “But why?  Don’t you have fun?”

  His eyes glowed with excitement, “I do, Josie, but I want to show you something.”

  Suddenly she was all excited, “What is it?  What do you want to show me?”

  “Come on and I’ll show you,” he said with a mysterious smile.

  Josie followed, not knowing what to expect.

 

She was at the tender age of six and he, eleven.  She could never have guessed what he was going to do next, but she followed anyway.

  “Just stand right there,” he had told her.

  Josie stood still as he started pulling down her pants.  He then started touching her in “all the wrong place”.

  “Tell anyone and I’ll break your doll’s head off!”

  She swore who would never tell.  Her dolly was too important at that time.

  “My hands are dirty.  Can I go to the bathroom to wash them?”

  He looked at her, pondering the idea, and pulled up her pants, “But you come RIGHT back.  Do you hear me?”

  She nodded her head and ran inside.  She sat on the bathroom floor and cried.

  “Why is he doing this?” she asked herself.  “What have I done?”

  Josie stood up and prepared to run the opposite direction from where he had been, but as she exited the bathroom, he was standing there waiting for her.

  “You weren’t going to come back, were you?  You wanted to run away, huh?”

  Her eyes grew wide with fear, “No. I was going to come back, I promise!”

  He grabbed her arm and pulled her back.  She screamed, but he covered her mouth with his hand.  No one came to help.

 

  “You don’t look so well, Josie.  You okay?” This time Carmen was standing next to her.

  “I’m fine, Caz.  Just thinking.”

  “Wanna talk about it?”

Josie just smiled faintly, “No thanks.  There’s nothing much to talk about.”

  Carmen’s face filled with concern, “You sure?”

  “Positive.  Thanks anyway.”

  “Anytime, Josie.”

  What had she been thinking about that made her look as if wasn’t well?  She didn’t know.

 

  “Chantelle!  You are such a b***h!  We could have seen Josie’s whole life!  Her WHOLE life!”

  Get out of my room NOW!”

  Josie had just gotten out of the bath and was about to go to Chantelle’s room with only a towel around her, when she heard the screaming.  She stuck her head out to see if Chantelle’s twin brothers had left.  She closed the door, sat on the floor and cried.  Why is it that guys were always after her body?  She was now ten and had started growing, but that was no reason for them to do what they did!

 

Night came and Josie and Chantelle went to bed at eight-thirty.  The night was silent except for the sound of running water by the pool.  Josie couldn’t sleep.  She was too afraid of who was under the bed or in the cupboard watching her.

  Then, the bedroom door creaked open and someone came inside.  Josie shut her eyes and held her breath.  He then lay down next to her and started undressing her.  She was too scared to move, too scared to do ANYTHING!  It was happening again and there was nothing she could do…

 

  “Hey, Jo.  Why the sad face?” her teacher, Mr Crawford stood towering over her.

  “I’m just not feeling well, Ed.  How are you?”

Mr C smiled, “I’m standing by you, of course I’m fine.  Well, I’ve got recess duty to do, so I’ll talk to you later.  Hope you feel better.”

  “Thanks, Ed.  Later.”

  Wasn’t that another excuse you always used – “I’m not feeling well”?  Worked like a charm.  She suddenly felt nauseous.  But why?  She found no answer.

 

Another night at Cantelle’s and the same running-water sound filled the air.  The door creaked open, but this time Josie kept her eyes focused on the dark figure.  Once again he lay next to her, took off his clothes and started with hers.  And then, he tried to rape her.

  There was a sound in the hallway and he got off her.  He picked up his clothes and ran to his room.  Josie was left lying there, naked, crying painful sobs.  What had she done to deserve this?  Why was she used like that?  She just pulled the blanket over her and cried.

 

  “Why has everything changed, Baby?” his eyes filled with anger.  “Is there someone else?”

  Tears ran down Josie face, “No, Sweetie.  It’s just…”

  “Just what?  Don’t you love me anymore?”

  The tears increased, “Phill, you know I do.”

  Now his annoyance showed, “Then why won’t you let me touch you?  You were fine with it in the beginning.  What’s happened?”

  “I’m just sensitive.”

  “SENSITIVE?!” he shouted.  “But you aren’t due for another week!  Why would you be ‘sensitive’?”

  She turned her face away, “I’ve told you before what happened and you said you understood!”

 

 

   “Don’t,” she cried.  “Please, just leave me alone!”

Josie walked backwards until her back touched the wall.  She was cornered – there was no escape.

  “Please, just go away!  Just leave me ALONE!” her words chocked in her throat and came out a high-pitched squeal.  “I don’t want to!  Please!”

  “But I missed you…”

  She cried, “I’m sorry.  But I don’t want to!”

  “Why?”

  She started shaking, “I’m scared, okay?!  I’m SCARED!!!”

  “Of what?”

  She fell to the ground and wept.

  “What are you scared of, Josie? WHAT?”

  Josie looked up into his eyes, “Men.”

 

Copyright©JosieWentzel2003