My Confession

Just a little piece....hope you enjoy

I stand in the parking lot, my eyes scanning every face that walks by. I am looking for that perfectly straight brown hair. That hair that is the same color as her gorgeous eyes and that falls halfway down her upper back.  I want to find that smooth, creamy white skin and the cute pettiness of her body. And then, from a crowd of people, she appears, bouncing like a small bird on a patch of summer grass.

            Those brown eyes lock on mine and she hurries over, her chest shifting ever so slightly beneath her equestrian t-shirt. When she hugs me it’s like being wrapped in the scent and warmth of springtime. She is shorter than me by at least four inches and it makes her pretty face press against my chest. Her jean shorts cut off just below her ample bottom, showing off one of the features I enjoyed the most. Her legs, while being very short, are also pure perfection. Flawless, white flesh with just enough muscle tone to drive anyone crazy. They curve up to meet her a*s beautifully and it’s  a spot I desire to trace with my finger tips.

            “Ready to go Bestie?” her voice rings out as she pulls away and the horrid truth strikes me once more. I am Meg’s best friend, and I will never be anything more.

            “Of course, always ready for a day with my Bubble.” I work to produce the smile as she bounds toward her car like a little doe. I follow slowly, secretly enjoying the innocent manner in which her hips swing. When she disappears into the driver’s side door I hurry my pace, sliding into my usual seat with grace.

            “I want to go try on some dresses at Windsor, what do you think?” She beams at me, that smile made her whole face light up like a child at Christmas. There was rarely a time I wanted her more than when she smiled like that.

            “Sounds great.” It was the same thing we always did, but that didn’t matter. What did matter was that I got to be with her, even if it wasn’t in the way that I always dreamed. The car ride is filled with music and her sweet voice as she sang along. She somehow manages to get me to sing along despite my horrid voice. So here I am, beside the woman I love more than anything, singing like a cat that’s been drowned. And there she is, her small fingers wrapped around the wheel carrying a tune like a Disney princess. She was my Disney Princess, at least in my head she was.

            It would be so easy, to just reach over and put my hand on her thigh. To touch that warm skin just below the line of her shorts. It would only take a moment for me to cross the distance between us. At every red light I picture leaning in to kiss those plump lips. I imagine her to taste sweet and sugary like the cookies she made me one year around the holidays. Or maybe rich like the expansive chocolate you could only get at custom candy stores. I can feel her hand trailing through my long blonde hair and my heart beats faster than ever.

            Her lush voice pulls me back. “You’re flushed Krissy, are you okay?” I blink myself out of the daze and smile.

            “Of course, just lost in thought.” I giggle, brushing my curls behind my head out of the embarrassment I feel. If only she could see what I was thinking, maybe then I wouldn’t constantly try and find a way to tell her how I feel about her.

            She turns back to the road and I’m shocked to discover we’re already in the mall parking lot. “Well stop it.” She teases me. “This is a day just for us, you shouldn’t be worried about anything.” Her little chuckle makes me squirm, but she’ll never know that.

            “I promise it won’t happen again Meggie.” I open up my door and slip out slowly, yanking down on my skirt.

 

 

 I was slowly going crazy as my need grew, a need I would never have the nerve to act upon. Not because I didn’t think I was good enough, I knew Meg and I could be perfect together if only we tried to be.

 I would never act because her heart wasn’t free for me to take. It belonged to the boy who broke it months ago. And a few months from now it would belong to the next boy, one that would move away and leave her here. Her heart would always belong to a boy, never to someone like me. I would never catch her eye because I lacked the chiseled chin, the slightly muscled body, the strong, secure arms. I was thin, with bulging breasts and long, sculpted legs. I was the woman who loved her, and that her religion warned her about.

Meg was the girl I adored, the woman I aspired to be and the one person I couldn’t handle not having. I had watched as he tore her apart and I longed to be the one to pick up the pieces. But instead she passed the job along to another boy, one she also said she loved. She would never know how much she meant to me, not until it was far too late to act.

I wasn’t alone when Meg vanished from my life, I had a boyfriend that I knew I would marry. He meant just as much to me as Meg ever had. But without her my heart was no longer whole. I missed my brown haired beauty, the girl I used to be able to cling to. I miss the way she smelled of perfume with the lingering scent of her horses just beneath. I miss the way her laugh seemed to light up my world. And more than anything, I miss the way she used to make my heart beat faster with her golden laced voice.

Reviews

[Unknown]

it felt soo real i love it

[skiayly]

I liked all the details you used. I thought this was really good

[Carlosdevil]

Kind of an abrupt jump from the first two thirds to the last but as always raw and from the heart.