moon into subconscious wilderness

every body has 2 lives.

 Into Subconscious wilderness(goes moon)

 

He knew he was of the wild.

Never told anybody,

Not to his mother, in dream.

Not to the girl from town

Who once said him, crazy child!

At heart he knew he was wild.

When moon of blood shone on

The porch of his residence

He impelled to drink the dark

Greens and deep jungle of truth.

Like a sharp tooth moonshine fell

On entire world of sanity.

He knew someday he had to

Run away into deep deep

Wilderness that lied beneath

Our day and night of minds.

 

 

Reviews

[Steffi]

It was very vivid
It was written really well
The only thing i can say is that it read choppy but that might just be me :D
Good Write!

[sunlight]

Oh I liked this a very vivid write.

[Theta S. T.]

This is a really good piece but I do have this feeling like I'm being left hanging is there more that lies beneath?? Or atleast that you'll be add to this piece I am very eager to know...Great write

~~Theta

[Just Manoosh]

There is a larger story to be embelished here .... I can feel it, not say this piece is unfinished, I mean there is a full story to be written and you should do it. I love the varied words you used here, nothing overused or tired. A good piece honey. Mx

[JC Fox]

another great write good job

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Beautiful imagery and description in this work. Wonderfully penned. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[An Ordinary Woman]

Run away into deep deep

Wilderness that lied beneath

Our day and night of minds.

I like how you ended it too, the ending closely ties in with the rest and gives it a punch and a purpose.
I enjoyed this one too....

[IndigoPhoenix18]

Okay, this f***ing amazing!!! :D Fantastic imagery. Really takes you away. Lets the words wrap around your imagination. When I read it, I find myself seeing what "he" sees and feeling what "he" feels. Only an amazing poem can do that! :D

[George Love]

Feels like someone has an inner "wild child" they want to get in touch with. Great work!

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Poddarkushal-

"He knew someday he had to
Run away into deep deep
Wilderness that lied beneath
Our day and night of minds."

I reall like that closing. It is dramatic and interesting, and you managed to managed to make very good word choices.

I think I like the rhythm throughout the poem best of all. It seems to keep thumping away with a fair intensity until it sort of crescendos at the end.

Very thought provoking!

-Gabe