If You Knew Me

Sorrows from a wrong decision

 

I wish you got to know me better,

But better cannot precede the good

Which is a concept that has become foreign to me

Ever since I came to know you;

Or rather, realized I don’t.

 

I’ve made attempts see, but they never went far.

It could be due to my getting distracted by the beautifully painted scars,

Or maybe, the nothingness has become all that you are.

 

But then, we both know that’s what I’ve become.

A little less than insignificant;

A mere accessory with which your arm is adorned.

 

Still I sought this not so?

My senses belted out endless pleas but naivety said ‘Go’.

I’d love to blame you for this but I don’t know how to

Since I single handedly searched for the worst counsel.

Blinded by folly and claiming to see a point of view

That was actually pointless…but you’re the only one who knew.

 

And yet I persisted.

 

Grappling for the pain already engulfing me,

Drowning in the depth of utter vacancy.

Turning away from all I knew to know what wasn’t

Because the happiness I saw in you really never existed.

 

Once, reality tried to sober me

When your bottles and barrels of lies were near empty;

But schizophrenia’s all I got and not clarity.

Your fluctuating sanity was rubbing off on me,

The absence of love was permanent company

And though I gave you all you took, we both know you’ve robbed me.

 

I guess my self-ruin is what pleased you the most,

Else how could you still smile while I went up in smoke?

You lit me up yourself and watched from your force field,

You promised me your life but I’m the one who got killed.

 

I wish you got to know me better,

I wish you wanted to.

I’d claim I’ve grown wiser but I’m still the tutor of fools.

Dying a hundred deaths doesn’t mean I’ll live again

Because it can’t be retrieved what’s been poured down the drain.

I’ve been here too long, still yet to move forward

My heart is weak because it’s been drained by a coward.

Ageing daily, not once experiencing any growth

Except the one in the void in which my heart’s been enveloped.

I ought to make you the past but now my time frame’s been broken;

I’d choose to leave if my freewill wasn’t already taken.

 

If you ever knew me at all you’d know the damage you’ve done!

Now that won’t be necessary, since all of me is gone.

 

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A desperately sad but all too familiar situation of someone who washes up with a taker when they are a giver. They get sucked dry and still give. Well portrayed in this sad and melancholy tale.
A couple of edits needed for example:
A mere accessory with which your arm is adorn-Adorned

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Ok, noted. Thank you for reading John, and for your review too. :)

[Angel]

Sounds like my first marriage. We were very young, and I was in a hurry to get out of my mother's house, where my new "stepfather" had taken up residence...ugh!!
Anyway, just wanted you to know...this struck a chord in me.
Very well done, Kwicksie!!

[Eddie Phillips]

Sad and truthful . I have written a few poems on this subject. I know this pain well and I love how you expressed it in every single line. It moved me to read it.

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

I'm glad it did.
Good to see you around again Eddie, thanks for stopping by! :)

[Rita L. Sev]

The emotion comes through loud and clear in this piece, Kwiksie. Because we love, it is so easy for someone to take the best of us, leaving emptiness.

But then, we both know that’s what I’ve become.
A little less than insignificant;
A mere accessory with which your arm is adorned...

A standout image...

Great write!

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Thanks Rita, and yes, they do try to drain one sometimes...
Glad you could stop by. :)

[Jack...]

The longing and the pain was felt easily in this fabulous piece. Desire's flame burns hot but it also burns out it seems, taking with it the soul of the needs, the heart of the dreams and the life, oh so fragile, it sent to fled with its smoke. Very nicely done.

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

I'm glad it communicated what it ought.
Thank you for reading Jack, i appreciate your stopping by. :)

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

glad it struck a chord somewhere micheal, thanks for the review.

[Micheal Funn]

I felt the emotion in this...I also sometimes wish people knew me better