Kay Dunham

Kay Dunham

A Story by Kyra Tamara

Hi.

 

If anyone is reading this letter, it means I have successfully ended my own life. But that’s okay. Because no one knows me. No one knows my story. But I want people to know me, my story. I want people to know why. So this is it. The one thing I want to leave behind. So here goes.

 

My name is Kay Dunham. I am twenty-four years old. I used to work as a high end escort, so in other words I was a prostitute. A w***e. Most of the girls I worked with had two or three regular customers. I just had one. His name was Peter Cardwell and he was definitely as nice as they come. One night he called to ask if I was free that Saturday night. That was the Saturday night that changed my life. Forever….

 

It was Wednesday night and I was reading when the phone rang.

“Hello, this is Kay.”

“Kay, hi, listen, I was wondering if you were free Saturday night. I would love it if you would accompany me to this work function I have to go to. It will be ridiculously boring, but it would be an honor to show up with you at my side. What do you say?” I smiled; his words were always so kind, how could I refuse? “Well Mr. Cardwell, it would be an honor to accompany you to this ridiculously boring function. Formal I suppose?” I asked, already making my way to my closet to see if I had something sexy yet glamorous to wear. I’ve heard about these work functions from some of the other girls at our monthly get-togethers. They always seem to be more about who’s wearing what than about anything work related. “Oh don’t worry about that, darling; I’ll have something sent to your place. You’ll love it. I’ll pick you up at 8.” And with that he hung up.

 

The dress came Friday morning. I had just gotten out of the shower when the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” I yell, tying a towel around me. “Delivery for Miss Dunham.” A low male voice said. I opened the door and took the large, flat, black box from the man who was wearing a suit. He probably worked at whichever store Peter bought this dress from. I thanked him kindly and closed the door. I could barely contain my excitement. This was definitely one of the perks of being an escort. The dresses, the gifts. I ran to my room and put the box gently on the white, made up bed. Carefully I lifted the lid and pushed aside the delicate, light pink tissue paper. I stared at the blue dress for a moment, then dropped my towel to the floor. Without bothering with underwear I put the dress on and went to stand in front of my huge full length mirror. From the front it looked very conservative. It started at the neck, had long sleeves and then flared out ever so softly. It was tight fitting, yet loose. But the moment I turned around, my whole back was exposed. It was sexy yet tasteful. It ended in a beautiful V-shape right at the end of my spine. I smiled to myself. I wasn’t going to need underwear after all.

 

When Saturday came, I kept my make-up minimal, my dark hair curled and in a loose bun, no jewelry. Peter arrived right on time in his fancy car. “You look lovely, absolutely breathtaking.” He said as he kissed my hand. “You must really love the dress, you’re glowing. I’m going to be the luckiest man in the room.” I smiled, thanked him, but didn’t say anything else. Sometimes I wondered if he forgot that I was just an escort, that he was paying me, that I wasn’t his. I take a good look at him. His blond hair was messy, but in a too perfect way, his eyes blue. His suit was new, made and tailored just for tonight. Never to be worn again. He was handsome, so why was he with me? I’m sure he could find a great girl, settle down, get married. Besides he was only 30 years old.

The car ride was silent as it usually was. It wasn’t long, however, and soon we were walking into a huge ballroom filled with tables and people in suites and fancy, expensive dresses. “You ready, darling?” He asked as we stood still for a moment. I took a deep breath, smiled and nodded as we walked over to a group of people who had waved Peter over.

 

“Peter!” A young man says and they embrace. I’ve never seen Peter ever embrace another man, so I took a good look at this one. He had the same blond hair as Peter, it was also messy. But not in a perfect kind of way, it was like he hadn’t bothered with it at all. He had grey eyes that had a slight sparkle in them. And a smile that made me take another deep breath. His suit was clean and fancy, but I could tell it had been worn before. I looked at the other two people standing with us. The woman was beautiful. She had long, blond, wavy hair that almost reached her waist and blue eyes. I wondered if she was also related to Peter in some way. She was wearing a simple black, strapless dress, but she had such an amazing body and was so naturally beautiful that she still looked absolutely amazing. The man next to her, which I assumed was her husband, was quite handsome though he was one of those guys who had had a suit made just for tonight. I could see it. He had dark hair, and dark eyes; a strong jawline. Together they looked like a couple out of a magazine. I looked back in Peter’s direction and the man who had embraced him grinned at me and said, “Hi, I’m Daniel. This is my sister, Victoria, and her husband Roy.” I smiled and muttered greetings. I looked at Daniel’s left hand; no ring. “Daniel, Victoria, this is my date, Kay Dunham.” Peter said as he put his hand on the small of my back. I looked over at Daniel again and saw him looking at me. He smiled, held out his arm and asked, “Would you like to dance, Miss Dunham?” I glanced over at Peter, but before I could say anything Daniel continued, “I’m sure you don’t mind right brother?” Peter laughed, “No of course not, go ahead. Have fun.” He kissed my cheek and stared talking to Victoria about children; probably hers. I put my hand in the crook of Daniel’s arm and he led me to the middle of the ballroom, to where other couples were dancing. He put his hand on the small of my back and a little shock went through my body as I felt his skin touch mine. His hand was warm and firm, but gentle. I put my hand on his shoulder, and he took hold of my other free hand. For a moment we stood just like that. Looking at each other. And then we danced. The whole night I was in Daniel’s company, I didn’t let him leave my sight, and he seemed to do the same.

 

That night I fell in love. I fell in love with the brother of the man that was paying me to have sex with him. It was as simple as that. I should’ve known better, should’ve known it would never work. A person like Daniel, and a person like me. No chance. But I fell in love with him anyway, and for a while I thought he was in love with me too. Especially when he was standing at my front door the next day…

 

I was busy baking pancakes in my kitchen, singing at the top of my lungs when the doorbell rang. I thought this was odd, seeing that it was Sunday. The Sunday after Peters work function. I didn’t have many friends, seeing that I was a very busy person and I didn’t have any living family left to come on visits. I was still in my pajamas. I never worked on Sundays. “Who is it?” I called as I made my way to the front door. “Kay? It’s Daniel.” I stood still. My heart pounded in my chest. Did Peter tell him what I do? Is that how he knows where I live? Is he just like his brother after all? I took a deep breath before I opened the door. “Daniel. Hi. What are you doing here?” I tool a good look at him. His blond hair was still messy. His grey eyes were looking me up and down and only then did I remember exactly what I was wearing; my oversized t-shirt and underwear. And my hair was in a high messy bun which probably looked like s**t. “Sorry, I don’t usually  get visitors on Sunday…” I said motioning to my t-shirt. “No, you look great, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just dropped by like this. But I remembered that we dropped you off here last night after the function and I just wanted to come by to see how you were doing.” Oh yes, I forgot about that completely. That’s how he knew where to find me, and it didn’t seem like Peter said anything about me or my job. Daniel was nervous, I could tell. I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “That’s really nice of you…I was just busy making breakfast, would you like to join me?” He smiled and the stress and nerves seemed to just evaporate. “That would be lovely, thank you.” For a moment I debated whether or not I should put on some shorts. But when I smelt my burning pancakes it was the last thing on my mind. “S**t, s**t, s**t…” I swore under my breath. I threw them out and put a new batch into the two pans. “Sorry about that, are pancakes okay? Would you like some coffee or tea? Hot chocolate? Oh and have a seat.” I said motioning to the bar stools at the kitchen island. He laughed and I smiled at the glorious sound of it. “Pancakes are fantastic, and I would love a cup of tea.” He said as he took a seat. Before he sat down he asked, “Is there anything I could do to help?” I smiled as I put water in the kettle. “No, but thank you. You can just sit, drink some tea and keep me company.”

 

We spent the whole day together. We had pancakes, and then we just stayed in the kitchen talking and laughing till it was time to have lunch. Then we moved to the living room where we watched a movie. Daniel left at five o’ clock that evening. He took my heart and phone number with him.

He called me the next day, asked me out for dinner. I actually couldn’t go, seeing that I had an ‘appointment’, but I agreed anyway, and called the client to reschedule for earlier that day. I was nervous for that night. It was the first time I had allowed myself the pleasure of going out with someone that wasn’t paying me. It was the first time I let myself fall in love.

 

That night was like a fairytale. We had dinner, a few drinks, he dropped me off at my door and kissed me goodnight. It was all so magical. Too good to be true. He felt guilty about kissing me though. He still though I was sort of his brother’s girlfriend… Which should have told me what kind of person he was. Who asks their brothers girlfriend out on a date anyway? But I was blinded by love. Or what I thought was love. He left quickly after the kiss and I didn’t hear from him for almost a week. It drove me crazy.

But on a Friday night he called me up, told me he didn’t care if I was his brother’s girlfriend. He was falling for me and he wanted to keep seeing me. And so for 6 months we sneaked around to see each other. I rescheduled countless appointments to see Daniel. Those 6 months were the happiest of my life. I hope he knows that.

After 6 months he asked me to marry him. Again, I don’t know why I didn’t think this was odd. Who gets married after six months right? But I was delighted yet devastated. He didn’t know I was an escort, and I didn’t want him to ever know. But if we go married he would find out eventually. I couldn’t keep something like that a secret forever. And Peter would obviously hear that we’re getting married. Wouldn’t he tell Daniel? Wouldn’t he ask him if he’s sure he wants to marry a w***e? All these things went through my head when he proposed, and yet, I said yes.

I went to my boss’s office the very next day to quit my job. I made sure Peter knew that I was done. He was really nice about it. Took me out to dinner as a friend he said, to celebrate my freedom. So I am no longer an escort. I told Daniel I was fired, muttered some possible excuses as to why. He told me it was no problem, he had a good paying job, and he knew how much I liked to bake so he got me a job in a lovely little bakery which I will miss dearly.

I worked there for two months.

I lived with Daniel for two months.

My life was perfect for two months until we saw him in town one afternoon. We were doing some shopping, when we came across Peter…

 

“Kay? Daniel? Hi!” A familiar voice called from across the street. “Peter!” Daniel called in greeting. Peter hurried across the road, clapped his brother on the back lightly and kissed my hand as he always did. “How is the engaged couple? Sorry I haven’t seen you in such a long time, little brother,” he said to Daniel, “I’ve been busy you know? But then again so have you.” He laughed and then he turned his attention to me. “Is this why you quit? It’s a pity… I miss you. The girl they replaced you with is not half as fun as you were. But oh well, at least I know my little brother is being taken care of someone who knows what she’s doing.” For a moment no one spoke. I glanced at Daniel and saw the confused look on his face. “What do you mean, Peter? The girl they replaced her with? What are you talking about? And why would she quit her job to be with me? She got fired.” Again silence. Now Peter looked confused. “What are you talking about? Kay didn’t get fired. She quit. At first I wasn’t sure why, she never told me, but when I got the wedding invitation I put the pieces together. I mean I for one wouldn’t want my fiancé to be an escort, so I understand why you wouldn’t want her to be one. And the girl they replaced her with, the girl that’s taking Kay’s clients, just isn’t as fun…Why does this seem to be news to you?” He added when Daniel looked shocked. “Kay…Is all this true? Were you a… an escort? You weren’t my brothers girlfriend you where his w***e?!” He shouted the last word at me. Tears welled up in my eyes. How could this be happening. Everything was perfect. I looked at Peter, I saw guilt and regret all over his face. This was not what he wanted. He was happy for us, he thought Daniel knew, thought Daniel was a good enough man to accept it. “Kay, answer me, damn it!” I closed my eyes, bit down hard on my tongue and forced myself not to cry. I stood there like that for a moment till I felt I was ready to open my eyes without tears spilling down my face. “Yes. I worked as a high end escort since I was 18. I quit the day after you asked me to marry you. I didn’t want you to know, I wasn’t sure how to tell you. I didn’t want you to think less of me…” I couldn’t continue. The tears I tried to hold onto spilled down my face and the rest of the words got stuck in my throat. “I can’t believe you kept this from me for so long. I can’t believe this! My brothers w***e! You disgust me!” He takes me hand, removes the beautiful ring from my finger. “I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want to ever see you. All the stuff that you have in my apartment I will  have sent back to yours. Don’t you dare show up there ever again. Now, if you would excuse me brother, I need a drink.” He spun on his heel and left me standing there with Peter. “Kay, I…” The rest of what Peter said was drowned out by the sound of my sobs. Peter held me for a moment and offered to take me home.

Next thing I knew I was in my apartment, with peter asking me if I was okay to stay alone. I nodded. He left. The moment I heard the door close, the sadness inside me streamed down my face even more. I cried and cried till my stomach was sore. I was alone, I realized then. I had no one. No one to talk to, no one to love me.

 

It was horrible. I was heartbroken. I am heartbroken. It’s only been two weeks, and I miss him so much it physically hurts. Of course I know it wasn’t love. It was lust, and passion and pleasure. But it was the closest thing I have ever gotten to thins thing people call love. I know I was stupid and acted recklessly and that I was blinded. And yet still… I haven’t been to work. I can’t seem to make myself get up to get dressed. I haven’t gotten dressed in two weeks. I’m so sad, I’m devastated. I have no one. There is nothing for me in this world. I don’t have a career, a husband or children, a family. I don’t want to do anything, go anywhere. I don’t even want to eat or cook. This is what some people might call a depression.

All I know is that I’m done.

Death will bring me a new life.

A new beginning.

Goodbye Daniel.

 

Kay Dunham.

 

© 2014 Kyra Tamara


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Kyra Tamara
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Added on April 23, 2014
Last Updated on April 23, 2014
Tags: Suicide

Author

Kyra Tamara
Kyra Tamara

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