Gavin

lies tricks and schemes

you dont love me

dont ell me you do

when you know its not true

screams tears and scars

this is the worst by far

do you see what i am?

of course you do and dont give a damn

broken shattered and gone

see what youve done?

i have no more heart

theres no room for a new start

point laugh and run

wheres that damn gun?

wait you say please no!

you too important to lose you know

smile click and thud

im not here now bud

the gun bounces away

no one cares i died today

Reviews

[Dev]

This is actually sad.. The fact that no one cared or the person thinking that way makes it all the more :(
As the previous one I reviewed you have minor mistakes -

Lies tricks and schemes
you don't love me
don't tell me you do
when you know its not true


Screams tears and scars
this is the worst by far
do you see what I am?
Of course you do but don't give a damn


Broken shattered and gone
see what you've done?
I have no more heart
there's no room for a new start


Point laugh and run
Where's that damn gun?
"Wait" you say, "Please, no!
You're too important to lose you know"


Smile click and thud
I'm not here now bud
the gun bounces away
no one cares i died today.

Good job.

[deeps]

This is really amazing! I love the flow
and the rhyme scheme. Emotionsl
write I Like it.

[Kaelyn Shea]

the thing is he was (big WAS) like my little bro and talked me out of a bad situation when skylar couldnt and now he acts like a total a*s hole and i dont like it

[WriterSki7]

A classic example of an AABB poem. Five stanzas, following the ideal example to the letter. This poem's concern is the thoughts of the author and the damage wrought by her false lover. Well written and expressed indeed.

[Aekmy]

Beautiful. Simple and to the point.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Aww this poem was sad, but good.