Ohio Smith Part: 1

Ohio Smith and Pope Ratzinger's Copy of Mein Kampf

As Ohio stepped out of the diamond, he immediately recognized the setting, the Vatican City. Being a devote Catholic, Ohio knew exactly what every square inch of the Vatican City looked like, This'll be easy, he thought, feeling confident about finding the pope's book. He began to walk towards St. Peter's Basilica until two guards stopped him, "Hey, wadda you doin' here, eh?" the first guard said, "Yeah what's the big idea, eh?" the second guard said, laughing. Ohio, not in the mood to talk his way out of the situation, elbowed the two in their stomachs and pulled their guns from their holsters, turning, backing away, and pointing the pistols at them. He backed away, stuffing one of the pistols into his pants as he grabbed a woman, who was obviously a tourist as she had a cell phone out, put his arm around her neck, and put the gun to her head. He turned back to the cathedral, keeping the woman, who was now screaming, at gunpoint, and continued to the doors. The guards opened the doors, sweating and scared as they saw Ohio. Ohio made his way to the Pope's office(or whatever) through the winding and confusing halls of the Basic and hit the woman on the head with the butt of the pistol, tired of her screaming, rending her unconscious. He turned to see the Pope, a tall, ancient-looking, white man, in a white "robe"(it's a dress) and a cool hat, wide-eyed, Ohio pulled the second gun from his pants and pointed both at the "Holy" man, "Seig Heil- I mean Amen!" The man said, in the same accent as the Nazi Scientists from the nuclear silo. "Mein Kampf, where is it?" Ohio yelled. The man opened the drawer behind him, ruffled through some underwear, too small for the old man, some of which had superheroes on, to pull out a book entitled Mein Kampf, with a picture of a man with a comb-over hair cut and an extremely thin mustache, signed Adolf Hitler. In a moment, several guards bursted in, in an instant, Ohio grabbed the book, sprinted through the glass door, onto the balcony, hopped onto the railing, and jumped off into another diamond.