fd&c blue no.2 #2

Companion piece to fd&c blue no.2

It's still raining. The humidity is almost as thick as the air that hangs between us. Why do I hurt you this way? I can't look at you anymore. I alone curved your spine forward. Hooded your eyes with a downward gaze. Left your hands shaking with the palsy precipitated by short circuited dreams. I am lost in myself. Please do not try to find me. I am surrounded by synapses that fire like laser beams and I will know you're coming before I see you coming. I will run in fast circles. If you catch me I will spontaneously combust.
(There is no US)

I need to pick some tomatoes before they go to rot. I can see a crow on the back fence from where I sit. It's so quiet here. I am paralyzed by the weight of your fear. There is much to say I've been rendered speechless. I am numb in all my untouched places.
I am completely numb.

Birds are frantically dive bombing the flower garden.
All the sunflowers are bent like hair pins, their faces shoved into the mud.

The water in the pool is rising.

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

loving the simple statement in images ..."It's still raining. The humidity is almost as thick as the air that hangs between us. Why do I hurt you this way? I can't look at you anymore. I alone curved your spine forward. Hooded your eyes with a downward gaze. Left your hands shaking with the palsy precipitated by short circuited dreams. I am lost in myself. Please do not try to find me. I am surrounded by synapses that fire like laser beams and I will know you're coming before I see you coming. I will run in fast circles. If you catch me I will spontaneously combust.
(There is no US)"
then the recognition that the water is rising and the sun will not shine...almost time to float...

[Lydia Shutter]

While your inner emotional world is frozen in place, the rest of the world spins. The birds fly, the sunflowers (great personification of them)bend in the wind....but you are there, not sure what will happen next. "there is no us" a heady realization that has the power to stop the world. Incredible write. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is really strong...that urgency shown in the lines as it progresses....

that pulling away that some of us do after so many heartbreak...we feel we are dangerous to others who might love us...so we become self absorb...

everything rises and explodes around us...

really good write

[Sorry Infamous]

You can definitely tell the change of tone in this one. It is more urgent, an apex.
"I alone curved your spine forward." I loved the image of this line.
"I will know you're coming before I see you coming" I related to something in this. I don't know what but I felt how you would feel at this moment. and of course "(There is no US)" So cutting. So final.
Great idea to end it with the pool water rising.

Thanks for sharing. Wonderful write as always.

[Ken Simm.]

It comes. The feelings with the visuals. Strongly and that is a testament to the writings power. It talks of only perhaps a few moments but those moments in context come to mean so much to us the readers. An exceptional write.

[LJW]

Thank you so much Ken. You commented on FD&C no.1 that you would like to film it, perhaps make a soundtrack. If you have the inclination and the capability to do this, I would love to be part of that collaboration. A model who could agree to still shots that go along with my words would be amazing. Let me know....

[roarke]

Amazing how you express the un-expressible. Pain, distraction, focus, pain... constantly wondering, praying for when the rinse cycle starts. You've created a sense of un-releaseable tension for the reader. Marvelous rendering.

[Ed Hart]

we ask each other to wear our demons...some are larger than others, so the costume looks too big, and weighs heavy on both souls