Sucker Punch

NA meetings. Gotta love 'em.

It happened at a meeting;

 

bunch of has-beens and burnouts
gathered like hens clucking at
Frank Perdue at the mic;
pecking at the preacher's mouth
for words of salvation.

 

He said he saw me and there
was a flash of light around me.

 

I'm thinking crackhead's detox
in Technicolor Kirlian flashbacks
and maybe I was just in the right
place at the right time.

 

He's thinking love is a
Styrofoam cup of free lukewarm coffee;

 

staring at blue eyes
that don't blink for anyone anymore;

 

hearing the madness
that was my life and coming back for more.

 

These aren't war stories baby,
I'm all fucked up like the rest.

 

This is two-ton honesty in a bowling bag
and you want to carry it?

 

Strap four kids from addict fathers
on your back and genuflect.

 

You're going to need that God of yours
just to get from breakfast to lunchtime.

 

There ain't nothing beautiful
behind these four walls;

 

the wrecking ball took it all
and the place next door
that housed my backup plan.

 

I exhaled what didn't get sucked out of me.

 

So when you looked at me
and said I took your breath away -

 

I'm thinking once you doubled over
and stood back up

 

you'd be smart enough to know
a sucker punch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

what a write...had to read after that title
content surprised and interested me at the same time
the content is so easily read and pieced together so nicely
accenting the title love those last lines
thank you much for sharing

[Joiedevivre]

Brilliant write! Unexpected metaphors that bring out that 'aha!' moment.

I'm thinking crackhead's detox
in Technicolor Kirlian flashbacks

genius line, makes so much sense in a funny kind of way and I can just picture it.

He's thinking love is a
Styrofoam cup of free lukewarm coffee;

another genius line, a thought process I'd never have made!

and said I took your breath away -

I'm thinking once you doubled over
and stood back up

you'd be smart enough to know
a sucker punch.


Just pure writing magic.

Overall insightful, witty and incisive.

[Jeff Loquist]

love the tone and not-so-subtleness of this. i think we have all been sucker punched..in one way or another...and have also sucker punched ourselves...it relates so well from both ends of the spectrum

[Emily B]

you are scary when you write the truth as you see it, top shelf writing as kortas would say, top shelf

[Dream Weaver]

Nicely done Linda, I enjoyed this like
it aint nobodies business. Your descriptive
powers are unequaled. I know this scenario
like Billy Joel knows New York. great write!

[zig]

f**k

well you even sucked me in. very well written, very well. ive been that guy, damnit, ive been him. yes, i see want you mean, we come from the same place and theres no way we could ever hide it from each other. you write about things i can relate to, and thats both scary and comforting... i will read more.

zig

[Lola Nation]

oh man that's great. I see an aa meeting with the lurkers around the cookies and coffees and maybe everyone just "shared" their story and there you "take his breath away" with that all time "sucker punch" only a woman like you could pack.

just great.

just great.

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

Ahhh.......only a true nomad seeking inner peace could pen such vivid lightning bolts of smoke filled rooms and stale coffee........blather about "Higher Powers".......once a guy actually told me his was a door knob........We mere mortals find so many clever ways to avoid implicating ourselves and facing brutal honesty and the courage to fight the many demons that dwell deep within us.......I am fascinated by your masterful work....so raw and clever.....dripping with intelligence and a touch of sacrasm.........I love it my friend.....

:-)

[Sean M. Addams]

like the detail you have painted in this piece.... flow is good and imagery really stands out in this...overall a very powerful write..

[Sleepless]

Wow, I loved this, great tone, humorous......Amazing writing!