Will You Be Mine?

I stood there watching

While you lived your life

With you I kept walking

But on the sidelines

You took me for granted

Never you believed

That I was the one for you

That you belonged with me

But that one day is still the highlight

The one when you called

And changed my life forever

Told me to meet you near the falls

I came as you asked

Dressed in a lovely sundress

A little confused

But wanting to be with you nonetheless

The scenery was perfect

Trees laden with flowers

And when I entered

I was greeted with a flower shower

The meadow was beautiful

I played in the trees

I felt so happy

Enjoying my fairytale, my dream

That's when I caught you smiling

My radiant prince

You saw me looking

And turned serious in a blink

That's when i realized

You were someone else's prince

That's when my dream shattered

And inside I cringed

There was something serious to tell

I could see it in your eyes

I took a deep breath

Expecting the worst

You were marrying someone else?

Well good for her

I would be happy for you

No matter who it was

So slowly you came to me 

Caution in every step

And stood so close

I could fell your heart beat

Mine was so wild

Threatening to explode

You looked straight into my eyes

As if bearing your soul

Your blues shining so intense with emotion

You took away my breath

I looked away

I couldn't take it anymore

But you tilted my head head up

And wiped away my tears

Your touch was fire

Burning my soul

I knew it was the end for me

I felt so complete, so whole

And like an enchanting dream

You got down on one knee and said

Will you be mine?

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

No matter who it were-I know you want a rhyme to go with her, but were is the wrong tense in this line, correct tense is "was". Poetry doesn't have to rhyme and when you "reach" for a rhyme, it detracts from the poem. This is a nice story told in poetic form. Loved the lines-your touch was fire, burning my soul.

[Dark and Mysterious]

I didn't know the tense was wrong. Thanks for telling and for the review :)

[Gina]

AWWWWWWW

[Dark and Mysterious]

:)

[Kristen]

I love the simple honesty of this poem. The structure (or unstructure perhaps) is fantastic! I write a lot of the same simple style so I really enjoyed this one!

[Dark and Mysterious]

Thanks :)

[Tai Ryens]

Not too much a fan of the twist used in this poem. It could have been done better using a story, rather than a format for poetry. Nonetheless, I enjoyed.

[Dominique]

This is a beautiful. I love how you gave the poem a twist. It was amazing.

[Dark and Mysterious]

ty

[Marie]

A dream with a happy ending. Good.

[Rhea752]

awwwww that's so absolutely sweet!!!! Keep writing. awww you made me smile.

:)

[Dark and Mysterious]

thnx