Just messing Around With a Romantic Teen-Reader Chap.#1

 

His lips brushed lightly against hers. She felt his muscles tense beneath her hands that were resting -more like clinging for balance- on his shoulder blades. She opened her eyes to see this boy. It’s so wrong, she thought. I shouldn’t do this, she scolded herself. You are too young for him, and you haven’t even known him for a full month, she chided. The lake just looked so pretty in the moonlight. It seemed like the perfect place to share a perfect kiss with the perfect boy- No, he isn’t perfect. He’s far from perfect, which makes him perfect. He brought his arms up to grab the back of her head. His fingers entwined themselves into her hair. She grabbed at his right hand and held on tightly. He slowly dropped his hand to her lower back. She closed her eyes again, this time leaning into the kiss as if for balance.

                They deepened the kiss right as a thud sounded from the house. Savannah tried to turn, but Taylor stopped her with his hands. He had one hand pressed tightly against each cheek. She wanted to stop the kiss, but he seemed to push her into it so she eventually gave in. He moved his hands and grabbed her. He pulled her into him tightly enough so that she could here the pounding of his heart beating against his chest. Her heartbeat was much faster than his. A long shiver flew down her spine.

“Cold?” Taylor asked.

“No,” was all that Savannah could manage between the short time that their lips moved apart and together.

“What’s going on here?” Tyler, Taylor’s brother, screamed from behind. He looked furious. “I thought I told you to stay away from her! Your foolishness will not go unpunished!” And all in one swift movement, Tyler pulled out the gun and aimed straight for Taylor’s heart.

 

 

Savannah gasped for breath as soon as she had woken up. She was drenched in cold sweat, and her mouth was dry. The thought of Tyler doing anything like that was crazy! She admits that he’s been protective over her since… I don’t want to think about it, she said to herself.

“…With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?...”

Savannah looked over at her phone, and she picked up the cell phone.

“Hello?” she said into the metallic pink slip of metal in her hand.

“Hey,” Taylor said. “Do you want to come over later?”

“Will your brother be over there?”

“Savannah?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still like my brother?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I don’t care,” Taylor said. Music was playing in the background. “What are you listening to? Is that Lady GaGa?”

“No… it’s… that isn’t important,”

“Will your parents be home?”

“I don’t know. They might be planning to go out tonight. So… are you coming or not?” Taylor questioned.

“I guess, hold on,” Savannah yelled downstairs, “Mom? Can I go to Taylor’s house?”

“Will his parents be home?” Savannah’s father asked.

“Jerry!” Savannah’s mom said. “Sure darling,” Savannah could hear her mother going into a lecture about how “our daughter is 16 now, and we can’t decide everything that goes on in her life.

“Yeah, let me get changed, and I’ll meet you at your house,”

“Can I come pick you up?” Taylor asked. This had taken Savannah by surprise. She always drove herself.

“Sure,” was all that Savannah had said.

Reviews

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

“…With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?...”

Savannah looked over at her phone, and she picked up the cell phone.

“Hello?” she said into the metallic pink slip of metal in her hand.

“Hey,” Taylor said. “Do you want to come over later?”

“Will your brother be over there?”

“Savannah?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still like my brother?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I don’t care,” Taylor said. Music was playing in the background. “What are you listening to? Is that Lady GaGa?”

“No… it’s… that isn’t important,”

“Will your parents be home?”

“I don’t know. They might be planning to go out tonight. So… are you coming or not?” Taylor questioned.

“I guess, hold on,” Savannah yelled downstairs, “Mom? Can I go to Taylor’s house?”

“Will his parents be home?” Savannah’s father asked.

“Jerry!” Savannah’s mom said. “Sure darling,” Savannah could hear her mother going into a lecture about how “our daughter is 16 now, and we can’t decide everything that goes on in her life.

“Yeah, let me get changed, and I’ll meet you at your house,”

“Can I come pick you up?” Taylor asked. This had taken Savannah by surprise. She always drove herself.

“Sure,” was all that Savannah had said.

Go on with the good work

[Lydia J]

I do really like this chapter but I'm kind of confused. Are the first and second chapter supposed to be connected or not?

I really like your transition between the dream and real life. I've always had a hard time with transitions like that but you managed to pull it off very smoothly. Also on the part where she is remembering her relationship with Tyler you could try wording it a little differently. Here's an idea.

"She admits that he’s been protective over her since… I don’t want to think about it, she said to herself."

"He’s been protective over her since... Savannah quickly shook her head trying to put it out her mind before the memory resurfaced."

I don't really know it's just an idea. I'm not exactly an expert on writing.

[Untalented Creation]

An interesting, well-written chapter (: Keep on writing

[AK]

Very nice! Please update it soon!

[Hannah]

I really enjoyed this chapter. When it first begans it doesn't seem like she's dreaming because everything is so vivid and I feel as if I am her and I can feel what shes feeling. Then the transistion from the dream to reality was fluid,the dialouge and her thought patterns were breath taking. I will definitely be following this book. I love reading works like this!BTW I'm new here :-)

[Calypso]

Good I liked how her dreams were told.