~Cavern Weave~

~Cavern Weave~

A Chapter by LanternBounty

There she was, shrivled up in her bed.

Tossing and turning, covering her head.

Covered in blankets. She's losing to fear.

Jackets stanged with her blood and tears.

Any love for her would be more than a token.

Outside yeilds a smile, but inside she's broken.

She's hiding from the world, her own cavern to weave.

She wants to fly, but her wings break as she grieves.

~

Doesn't she ever dream to soar great hieghts?

Or has she given up the profit of lights?

Can't she see the crowed rejexts?

Or does she believe the fake kindness she collects?

The ousdie only believe she's confused.

Mocked, laughes that they all musded.

~

Her heart is to distant for me to find.

The people she misses aren't the ones she left behind.

She hides in her cover while life pours down rain,

The blade isn't the only thing that cases pain.

Therapy doesn't cure the pain within the walls,

It's impossible for her gaurd to fall.

Brain autopsy, the heart broken zone.

How long will she go being truely alone?



© 2011 LanternBounty


Author's Note

LanternBounty
You can't hide forever. Eventually you'll have to stop being so stubborn and ask for help.

My Review

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Reviews

effort was futile; she was making her own mistakes and I couldn't be the one to save her.
"Brain autopsy, the heart broken zone; How long will she go being truly alone?"
Genius; absolute GENIUS.
Why hasn't this gotten any comments yet??

Posted 12 Years Ago


what does the last word say?/Stanza 3-Line 1: should be TOO instead of TO/Stanza 3-Line 4: Missed the U in CAUSES/Stanza 3-last line: Misspelled TRULY.

Wow, that took quite some time. However, the rhyming is much improved on this poem. It has more flow and there are a few lines that exuded poetic beauty:
"Her heart is too distant for me to find; The people she misses aren't the ones she left behind" I've tried to help this one girl get better, but eventually I realized the

Posted 12 Years Ago


Once again, I love the message you're trying to get across to the reader, although I got to the second stanza and had seen a plethora of misspellings and typos.
1st Line: Misspelled SHRIVELED/4th Line: There is the word "Stanged", is that a word I'm ignorant of or is it a typo?/2nd Stanza-Line 1: You put the i before the e/2nd Stanza-Line 3: That's a hot mess/2nd Stanza-Line 5: OUTSIDE has a bit of a typo, no t and the d and i are muddled/2nd Stanza, last line: LAUGHS, and...

Posted 12 Years Ago



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233 Views
3 Reviews
Added on July 12, 2011
Last Updated on July 16, 2011
Tags: lantern, bounty, love, hate, pain, cutting, blood, hurt, broken, alone, guilt, cavern, weave


Author

LanternBounty
LanternBounty

FL



About
"Sometimes it's like obsidian is being drived through my heart..." -Me ~ WinterPerish (Awareness: Cutting, drugs.): http://www.writerscafe.org/WinterPerish ~ I am currently dealing with hater.. more..

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