Grow Up and be a Man

Grow Up and be a Man

A Poem by Whiskurz


My wife brought home a little man
He really doesn't talk very much
He mostly cries and sucks his thumb
And he poops a lot and such

A lot of times he just stares at me
Well, I cant just let him win
So I stare him down, til he's crosseyed
With drool running down his chin

He wears this thing called a diaper
You know, like speedos for a little dude
Everytime I tell him to put on some clothes
My wife says, "Quit being rude"

He drinks his milk from a bottle
I tell him to grow up, and be a man
So I hurry and finish my rootbeer
To show him I can crush a can

I told my wife he's not much of a man
He can't even grow a beard
Then I caught them playing patty cakes
The one thing that I've always feared

So I finally accused my wife of cheating
She said, "You idiot this is your child"
I said, "I knew that, do you think I'm stupid?"
She didn't answer, she just sit there and smiled

Well, I finally grew accustomed to his face
And it just couldn't be any finer
As long as he puts some clothes on 
And stays out of my recliner

© 2012 Whiskurz


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Reviews

LMAO! Loved the line about the recliner! I'm surprised you didn't mention the tv remote! Next to last stanza, 4th line...sat there and smiled.
Priceless poem!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I smiled several times while I was reading this... well done..

Posted 11 Years Ago


Awww, this one was cute

Posted 11 Years Ago


Your sense of humor is superb!

Posted 11 Years Ago


lol, great humor from a perfect perspective. Wonderful writing. Good job!!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Oh wow, I totally loved this write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is great.....I have a son who is one year old and there is nothing better than being a dad

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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116 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on May 23, 2012
Last Updated on May 23, 2012


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