Put It In Her Cigs

Affairs and murder seem to always go hand in hand.

“Why don’t we continue this out on the patio?”

 “Certainly.” He stood and opened the sliding glass door for her.

The two took seats across from each other on the small fenced in patio.

“Now where were we?”

“I believe we were discussing your husband.”

“Oh Mark, yes he is a sweet heart.” She pulled out a camel cigarette, lit it and took a deep smoke. “Want one?”

“You know I don’t smoke Tiff.”

“One day Charles, you will see that you need to open up and enjoy life.”

“By slowly killing myself with tar and smoke?”

“We only live once, why not?” She continued puffing the smoke into rings.

He simply coughed as a response.

“So about my husband, it’s not that I don’t love him, it’s simply that, oh how do I put this?” She took a moment to smoke as much as to think. “He’s too sweet, too soft. A woman needs a man. I mean, a real man, one who isn’t afraid to get down to the fisticuffs.”

“So you want him to be killed because he’s soft?”

“No not at all honey. But I know Mark; if he gets into a fight he won’t know what to do with his self. So it is safe to assume that if the attack were to not stop, he would in fact kill Mark. A truly tragic story, a helpless woman has to watch her poor husband brutally beaten.”

“Which is where I come in right?”

“Oh yes, the man of the hour who swoops in just in time to save the girl. The girl then falls madly in love with her new hero and is able to find peace in the death of her husband.”

“In the arms of a total stranger?”

“A total stranger that saved her life.” She sneered at him as she took another puff of the cig.

“And you think that Mark is fit for such an untimely end?”

“Well of course, the nice guys always die out in the streets at the hands of those who are bigger and tougher.”

“Tiff you are a dime a dozen.”

She began blushing, she had dolled herself up to help persuade Charles. She thought that it was working in her favor, the way that she had fluffed out her hair, and wore the beautiful black silk blouse that he had bought her to go with the pearl necklace that was his six month anniversary gift.

“Well, when would you like to have it done?”

“Tonight.”

He tensed in his seat. “That is rather short notice.”

“Come on Charles, I know you can make it happen. You have to, I’m worried that he has caught on to us.”

He took the moment to study the pleading look in her eyes.

“That’s because he has. I called him before you got here. I asked him what he would have me do with you. He said ‘poison her smokes, she never could get over me not letting her smoke in the house’. So I did.” He stood and walked away as her face lit up. “Enjoy your smokes.”