Being Silly
A Poem by
LawrenceRaybon
The explanation of why I am most assuredly not Silly!
I felt like being silly
but Silly said "No!"
I asked him, "Why?"
His reply,
"Cause Silly said so!"
So I went and got Angry,
and Angry got mad.
I asked him, "Why?"
His reply,
"Cause Silly is bad!"
© 2014 LawrenceRaybon
Author's Note
Good? Bad? Meh? Anything I can do to improve?
Reviews
I very much enjoyed this! Although, I would love to see more of it. Maybe expand on it? It is a very charming piece of work. (:
Posted 9 Years Ago
This is great! I love the humor and the rhythm. The unique characters add an extra umph to the piece as well. Sorry but I have nothing to say about improvement. This is as perfect as perfect can be. One thing I could say as that you could take this further. You could go into several emotions. Each emotion could be a character. Just food for though. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!
Posted 9 Years Ago
This is great! I love the humor and the rhythm. The unique characters add an extra umph to the piece as well. Sorry but I have nothing to say about improvement. This is as perfect as perfect can be. One thing I could say as that you could take this further. You could go into several emotions. Each emotion could be a character. Just food for though. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!
I'M STILL LAUGHING.
Can't comment yet on competition..
Posted 9 Years Ago
I'M STILL LAUGHING.
Can't comment yet on competition..
Well, I AM Silly, so I say do as Silly says! :) This feels like the beginning of a longer piece; good, but feels unfinished.
Posted 9 Years Ago
Well, I AM Silly, so I say do as Silly says! :) This feels like the beginning of a longer piece; good, but feels unfinished.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you! I'll look at adding more lines, don't quite know where to take it though...
haha that was nice :D
add a few more silly lines ;)
Posted 9 Years Ago
haha that was nice :D
add a few more silly lines ;)
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you! I see about adding more silly lines, just have to figure out where to take this...
Stats
287 Views
5 Reviews
Added on April 20, 2014
Last Updated on April 23, 2014
Author
LawrenceRaybon Jackson, MS
About
Hi!
I'm an avid reader who loves to write. I also love helping others who are serious about improving their writing! My critiques are in-depth and honest, no ego stroking and I expect the same wh..
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